IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is argued that the government tend to reduce
transport
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 pollution by decreasing public
transport
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 ticket costs and
also
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 through investments in
this
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 sector.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
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 statement because enhancing
this
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 kind of transportation is eco-friendly and it will encourage citizens to abandon their personal
vehicles
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. It is conspicuous that improving the quality
as well as
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 the affordability of communitarian
transport
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 will incite people to
use
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 it rather than taking their personal cars.In fact, if those drivers decide to
use
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 common
vehicles
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, which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
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, because of its lucrative feature, they will certainly consume less
fuels
Fix the agreement mistake
fuel
show examples
.
Hence
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 less detrimental gases to the environment will be emitted .
For example
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,
this
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 is what
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in Paris
in
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apply
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France. The government there boosted the quality of
pulic
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public
 transportation and reduced ticket prices in order to make it efficient, which induced people to
use
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 it. As a matter of fact, the pollution rate plummeted drastically subsequent to
this
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 decision Public
transport
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 is
also
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 renowned
to be
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for being
show examples
 eco-friendly, as it uses electric energy and less fossil fuels compared to many personal automobiles.
Furthermore
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, modern buses present hybrid engines that run by using electric energy and a special type of
gazoline
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gasoline
that is
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 cleaner
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the one consumed by conventional
vehicles
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. Indeed, electric engines
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
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 by experts environmentally friendly since they don't emit
harmul
Correct your spelling
harmful
 gases.
Therefore
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, if people
use
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 public transportation because of its convenience, it will ineluctably decrease damaging
gases emission
Fix the agreement mistake
gas emissions
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and, thus
show examples
thus
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 pollution. For
insatnce
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instance
, in Tokyo city ,
in
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apply
show examples
Japan, all the brand new communitarian
vehicles
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use
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this
Linking Words
 revolutionary energy which
make
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makes
show examples
 the city less polluted. In conclusion, it is crystal clear that boosting public
transport
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 would be a relevant prospect for
decision- makers
Correct your spelling
decision-makers
show examples
 to protect our invaluable planet because it will encourage the community to
use
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 effective and eco-friendly
vehicles
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.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. This helps readers understand your argument better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more cohesive devices (e.g., linking words and phrases) to improve the flow of your ideas and create clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Make sure all examples are presented clearly, and consider adding more detail to illustrate how they support your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and discusses the benefits of public transport effectively.
Task Achievement
The use of examples from Paris and Tokyo adds relevance and supports your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
What to do next:
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