IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the data about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received by the Tourist Information Office in one city, divided into three categories: in person, by letter/email,
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
telephone
Use synonyms
, over a six-month period in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that there were upward trends of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 received in person and by
telephone
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
enquiries
Use synonyms
 by letter/email saw a considerable fall over the whole period in question. Another interesting point is that the
enquiries
Use synonyms
 made by
telephone
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most widespread variant in January. Looking at the details, as regards
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
enquiries
Use synonyms
 in person started at approximately 410 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 month,
then
Linking Words
 there was a sharp rise over a six-month period, at which point it levelled off at just under 2000
enquiries
Use synonyms
 in June. If we look at
enquiries
Use synonyms
 made by
telephone
Use synonyms
, there was a fluctuation until April, after which the figure went up and
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
finishing
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
 at 1600
enquiries
Use synonyms
 in June.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the
enquiries
Use synonyms
 made by letter/email went in the opposite direction. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of
enquiries
Use synonyms
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained stable
just
Change preposition
at just
show examples
 under 800 between January and March, after which the figure
having fallen
Wrong verb form
fell in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 three months.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, enquiries, telephone with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
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