Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a child having a large number of toys?

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In these modern days, a great number of parents give a large amount of toys to their sons.
This
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essay will discuss how games could improve children's intelligence,
however
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, they
also
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could produce bad manners in children if they do not have the toys they want.
Firstly
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, playing with many dolls may enhance kids's neuronal skills. The first years of a human being are crucial for getting significant information, which will be saved in their brain and will help them develop basic tasks in the future.
Additionally
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, the great variety of games in an early stage provides the possibility of exploring different parts of their brain.
For instance
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, when young people play "sudoku", they can create satisfactorily the capacity to think,
due to
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their neurons linking faster.
According to
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the mentioned above, having many trinkets allows for a perfect development of perception.
On the other hand
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, having a great number of dolls could affect the advance of a child's personality.
Therefore
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, young people with a large amount of playthings are not able to understand the situation when their parents do not want to buy more games.
According to
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recent research, a group of babies was studied, which demonstrated that most had bad manners when parents did not give them exactly the playthings that babies wanted.
To sum up
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,
although
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having the things that minors want, may lead to bad manners in them, it allows the perfect route for improving several aspects in the development of intelligence and their brains
such
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as the cognitive part.

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task achievement
Try to clearly define the terms "toys" and "children" in your introduction to set the context more effectively for your reader.
task achievement
Consider restructuring your argument about the negative impacts on personality, as it currently lacks depth and clear examples. Include specific instances or findings to support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will help enhance the cohesion of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for small grammatical errors, such as "kids's" should be "kids'" and "games could produce bad manners" should be "games could lead to bad manners" for more accurate language use.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view of the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is commendable.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the importance of early development and intelligence, which is well articulated in your main points.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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