Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Educational
success
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depends on good
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teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
for some individuals
while
Linking Words
some people think that
students
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' attitudes are significant.Both of these conditions
are affect
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
the
success
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of
students
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.
Firstly
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,teachers are just like
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students's
Remove the s
students'
show examples
second
family
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families
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because
children
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are spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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their all time with their
teacher
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after their family
hence
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teachers'
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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affect the
children
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's many things
such
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as
,
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apply
show examples
mental health,
success
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,
social
Correct word choice
and social
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life.
Actually
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Actually,
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all these things are connected to each other.For ınstance ıf
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teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
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act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
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to her/his
student
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students
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badly
this
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situation
affect
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affects
show examples
the
childs'
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child's
show examples
mental health and bad mental health
affect
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affects
show examples
the
childs'
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child's
show examples
success
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.
However
Linking Words
ıf
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teacher
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teachers
show examples
give advice to the
children
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and
if
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apply
show examples
motivate them
students
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'
success
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can increase.
In addition
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,Sometimes being
unsuccesfull
Correct your spelling
unsuccessful
is just related to
behaviours
Correct article usage
the behaviours
show examples
of the
children
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.There are some factors.One of them is mentality.There are some
students
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who
struggling
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struggle
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental problems like
adhd
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ADHD
,
anxiety
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and anxiety
show examples
.
This
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type of mental
issiues
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issue
affect
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affects
show examples
childrens
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children
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in many
way
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ways
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also
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Linking Words
this
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these
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mental problems affect the
childrens'
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children's
show examples
success
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too since even
they
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if they
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study hardly
to
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for
show examples
exam
Correct article usage
an exam
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they can fail
at
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apply
show examples
the exam because of their feelings.
Also
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some
students
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can not focus on lessons because they just do not want to study.
They
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They are
They were
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just unmotivated.Of
course
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course,
show examples
this
Linking Words
situation can decrease the
Correct your spelling
success
succes
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success
of
students
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ın
conclude
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conclusion
show examples
,ı think both of these
situaitons
Correct your spelling
situations
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
affect the
childrens'
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children's
show examples
success
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.Teachers
has
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have
show examples
really
Add an article
a really
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big impact on
students
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however
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they are not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
superhero
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superheroes
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so if there is a
no willing
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no-willing
show examples
inside the
children
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.They can not be
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
i
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
their school life.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly introduce both viewpoints and explicitly state your own opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Review the grammar and punctuation in your sentence structures to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will strengthen your points.
task achievement
You have made a solid effort to discuss both views regarding educational success.
task achievement
Your essay touches on important aspects, such as the impact of mental health on students' success, which shows depth in your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational success
  • positive attitude
  • motivation
  • growth mindset
  • innovative teaching methods
  • academic achievements
  • engaging
  • effective
  • persistent effort
  • resilience
  • guidance
  • knowledge
  • encouragement
What to do next:
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