IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have discovered a lot of rubbish in a lake near where you live. In the past, the lake had always been clean. Write a letter to the local council. In the letter: · describe the type of rubbish that you saw in the lake · explain where you think the waste has come from · suggest what the council should do about the problem

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Dear
sir
Capitalize word
Sir
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 or Madam, I want to inform
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
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your
Change the pronoun
you
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consider
Wrong verb form
are considering
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at
Change preposition
apply
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that lake where people throw lots of rubbish but if I
talked
Wrong verb form
talk
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 about the past when I looked it was so clear but now it is not. I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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planed
Correct your spelling
planned
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 with my family to enjoy I decided to visit the lake when I reached there I saw the place was dirty,waste material like plastic bags,plastic bottles and other things spread everywhere.So I felt very uncomfortable there
i
Change the capitalization
I
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can
Wrong verb form
could
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 not stay there. I think when families visit
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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beautiful places, they bring food and other items with them and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 they do not care about cleaning so they throw all waste stuff everywhere and it seems too bad. I suggest that
council
Correct article usage
the council
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 should put
Correct article usage
a dustbin
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dustbin
Fix the agreement mistake
dustbins
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 over there and strictly
ordered
Wrong verb form
order
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to
Change preposition
apply
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all our communities that they have to throw garbage in these bins ,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 they should fined if anyone
would
Verb problem
does
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 not follow the rules. I hope that you
considere
Correct your spelling
consider
considered
 my suggestion. Yours faithfully, Rabia.

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task achievement
Start with a clear introduction that states the purpose of your letter. This helps the reader understand what the letter is about right from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly. This will improve the flow of your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Try to paraphrase instead of repeating phrases too often, which can make your writing sound less varied and engaging.
task achievement
Maintain a more formal tone throughout the letter, especially in the introduction and conclusion, to align with the nature of a letter to the council.
task achievement
You have addressed the key points required in the prompt, such as describing the rubbish, its source, and suggesting solutions.
task achievement
Your heartfelt concern about the cleanliness of the lake comes through clearly, which makes your letter more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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