more and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution

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Cars
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as the Main Transportation in Big Cities
Cars
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became the main transportation in the big city. Most
people
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use the car for daily transport.
However
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, the reliance on using
cars
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contributes to some
problems
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such
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as
traffic
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as well as
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air
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pollution
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. Some actions need to be taken in order to tackle these
problems
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. The increasing number of
cars
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will exacerbate the
traffic
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, especially in a big city with a high number of population. The
traffic
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will be worse during the peak hours, like in the morning when
people
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are getting to work or in the afternoon when
people
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are going back home. Not only that,
traffic
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will have a negative impact on the economy.
For example
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, Jakarta is one of the cities in the world with the worst
traffic
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. In Jakarta,
people
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need to spend around 2 hours to commute 10 kilometres away. A study showed that Indonesia lost about IDR 2 billion per year because of the
traffic
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.
In addition
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, the use of private
cars
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contributes to worse
air
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pollution
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. It is because more
cars
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will create more carbon monoxide
that is
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released
to
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into
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the atmosphere.
As a result
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, the
air
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became unhealthy to breathe. In the long run,
air
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pollution
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will affect the health condition.
For instance
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, around 2 million
people
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in Jakarta, a city with the highest rate of
air
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pollution
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in Indonesia, are estimated to have respiratory
problems
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due to
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the bad quality of
air
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. In order to reduce the
problems
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, the government should provide better public
transportations
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that connect strategic locations
such
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as office buildings, housing areas, schools, and other public facilities.
Moreover
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, the government should promote the use of public
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transportations
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transportation
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through some approaches.
First,
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make sure that public
transportations
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have an on-time schedule.
Second,
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monitor the quality of the service in public
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transportations
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transportation
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.
Third,
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provide special lanes for public
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transportations
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transportation
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like buses in order to cut the commute duration. In conclusion, the reliance on private transportation mode will raise some
problems
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. The government should take serious actions and policies to mitigate the negative impacts.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to clearly link your ideas to enhance logical flow. You can use transition phrases to connect paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Expand on the implications of the air pollution issue and consider various aspects of potential solutions.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive introduction that outlines the key problems you will discuss.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the situation in Jakarta, effectively illustrate the problems associated with overreliance on cars.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly states the main issue and suggests government action, which is a strong way to wrap up the essay.
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