IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisagtion. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge orexperience.

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Some individuals prefer to become freelancers, rather than to do regular office
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because working for a company is a waste of
time
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 since it usually repeats the same routine every day.
However
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, many
also
Linking Words
 think that freelancing is not the best choice in terms of building wealth because of the unstable income. A traditional job requires you to commute every day because the workplace is located in the business district which is usually far from residential areas.
This
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 routine may become a hassle for some
people
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 as they need to spare some
time
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 in transportation.
For instance
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,
people
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 living in satellite cities are required to depart 2 hours before the start of their working
hour
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hours
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 just to arrive on
time
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.
Although
Linking Words
 2 hours might seem like a small number, some individuals think that they could have
use
Change the verb form
used
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 it for personal development or family
time
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.
While
Linking Words
 freelancing could give
people
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 more freedom in terms of
time
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, being self-employed could
possess
Verb problem
pose
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 a risk to their financials.
Due to
Linking Words
 the nature of freelancing itself which is project-based, there might be times when they
were
Verb problem
do
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 not
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 clients. In
this
Linking Words
 case, good money management is required for them to survive.
For example
Linking Words
, when a global pandemic happened in 2019, the economy of several countries collapsed and many businesses were bankrupt,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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became harder to find a regular job, even more a freelance project. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 self-employment offers flexibility compared to conventional jobs, it
also
Linking Words
 comes with financial uncertainty.
People
Use synonyms
 should consider the good and bad when it comes to choosing what kind of work they want and develop the ability to handle the challenges that might come.

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task achievement
Consider improving your introduction to clearly outline the content of your essay. This will help in guiding the reader more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on the points you make, especially in the areas of financial uncertainty and its impact on self-employed individuals. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly. This will improve the overall flow.
coherence and cohesion
Rephrase some sentences for clarity and grammatical correctness, as there were minor errors that could affect the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion about the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that help illustrate your points, particularly the example of commuting and the effect of the pandemic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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