IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
this
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 era, more and more
people
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 are considering continuing their studies in other
countries
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. I concur with
this
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 argument. In
this
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 essay, I will provide some opinions on
this
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 matter.
It is clear that
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 most
people
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 choose to study abroad because there are a lot of advantages will be obtained. First and foremost, they can look for new skills, challenges and experiences, for their
education
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 better than in their
countries
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. Some
people
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 do not desire to seek new challenges owing they are comfortable in their position. They are afraid to survive in new places. So, I appreciate it if there is a person who is brave enough to leave
from
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apply
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his comfort zone.
In addition
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,
people
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 can make new friends and relationships. It is very important to seek job opportunities.
For example
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, when there is a smart person who finds it very difficult to get
job
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a job
the job
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 because he does not have a number of friends.
Therefore
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, having a strong network of friends and connections can be crucial in finding job opportunities.
On the other hand
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, the
education
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 in their
countries
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 is not very good compared to other
countries
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. There is a factor that makes the
education
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 is not sufficient.
First,
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the salary of
lecturers
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. In other
countries
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, college teachers get high salaries.
This
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 makes many
people
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 want to be
lecturers
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, which makes the competition to become a lecturer very tight.
This
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 improves the quality of
lecturers
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.
For instance
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, In Japan, the salaries of
lecturers
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 are very expensive.
This
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 influences the qualities of
lecturers
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. So, universities will be more selective in choosing competent
lecturers
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. In conclusion, studying abroad offers valuable opportunities for growth, and enhances both
education
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 and career prospects. The government needs to increase
lecturers
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' salaries because
this
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 can impact the quality of
lecturers
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 at colleges.

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task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas fully and clearly. Some points in your essay feel under-explained, which can affect the reader’s understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Work on providing a clearer logical structure in your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and relates to the main thesis.
task achievement
Try to enhance your use of relevant examples. They can help to better illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about studying abroad and provide some relevant points for consideration.
task achievement
The inclusion of examples, such as the mention of Japan's lecturer salaries, is a good attempt to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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