Some people want the main purpose of television should be education while others think that TV should be for entertainment only. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Recently, there has been widespread controversy about
TV
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shows. Some
people
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believe that the programs shown should be for educational purposes only,
while
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others argue that the main purpose of
TV
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is to entertain viewers. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and share my own thoughts. On the one hand, the first group believes that television should only offer educational content for viewers.
This
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is because
people
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spend a lot of time on screens, so it's a valuable idea to use
this
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amount of time and focus on enhancing knowledge and expanding general awareness.
Moreover
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, television offers a rich and comprehensive education by integrating videos, audio, and visuals, which strengthen the learning process.
As a result
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, individuals who rely on
TV
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as a source of learning will develop their awareness faster and more effectively than others.
For example
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, recent studies have shown that individuals who watch knowledge-based shows tend to gain broader knowledge and greater cultural awareness, helping them learn quickly and acquire new skills,
such
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as languages, cooking, and drawing.
On the other hand
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, some argue that
TV
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serves as a source of entertainment and a break from work and the seriousness of life.
This
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is because, at any age,
people
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need to entertain themselves by watching movies, comedy shows, or even the news to keep up with the world.
Therefore
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, individuals can achieve
the
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a
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balance between professional life and personal hobbies that they enjoy doing, which sometimes includes screen time.
For instance
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, a recent study found that watching entertaining
TV
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shows helps reduce stress and improve mood by allowing
people
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to relax and escape from daily pressures. In conclusion, I personally believe that
TV
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is a comprehensive medium, and it would be beneficial to make use of both aspects, whether for leisure by watching movies or for learning through documentaries.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating your introduction with a brief overview of the importance of television in today’s society, which will help set the context for the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure to include clear transitions between your points to guide the reader better through your essay. For example, use phrases like 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore' to connect similar ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a more specific example in the second paragraph discussing entertainment. For instance, mentioning a specific show or study could strengthen your argument.
content
You presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument effectively, which demonstrates good understanding of the topic.
language
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate for the topic, and you have conveyed your ideas with clarity, which enhances the overall quality of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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