Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

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It is highly assumed that

health

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issues are followed by consuming processed

food

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and drinks which are high

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sugar. Some are of the opinion that making sugary

food

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pricier, probably would prevent people from buying them. Personally, I side with

this

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view for a number of reasons. Sugary

products

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can put our

health

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at risk of various diseases. To commence with, sugar may cause serious

health

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issues,

such

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as heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. To clarify, it is common knowledge that you are what you eat. If one consumes sugary

products

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excessively, one will

initially

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confront obesity.

This

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can eventually lead to other disease, including diabetes.

Consequently

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, the government has to take

this

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into account and take measures to improve the manufacturing of healthy

food

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Furthermore

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, imposing a tax or making sugary

food

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pricier may deter people from buying

such

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products

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That is

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to say, if a government puts higher prices on sugary raw materials, it can make the consumers reluctant to pay a small fortune for those.

Hence

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, the manufacturer will not purchase sugary raw materials in order to produce

such

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products

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due to

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less demand. To summarize, owing to the aforementioned reasons, I am totally convinced that we can avoid

health

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problems by consuming

food

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and drinks that are low in sugar.

Moreover

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, levying a tax is one of the methods that can lead us to

this

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goal.

Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on Fri Jun 14 2024

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task achievement

Your essay responds well to the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, to achieve a higher score, you could include more developed and specific examples to illustrate your points. This would strengthen your argument and provide clearer support for your views.

coherence cohesion

Your main ideas are clear and logically structured. Consider varying your sentence structures and using more linking words to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your argument effectively.

task achievement

The essay addresses the question directly and maintains a consistent stance throughout.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

231 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people hesitate between getting a job and starting their own business. While the idea of not having a boss and working on one's own schedule may sound tempting, financial risks and stress sometimes outweigh these advantages. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of working in a company?

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that the best way to produce a happier societies is to ensure that they are only small difference in earning between the richest and the poorest members to what extent do you agree or disagree?