Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is highly assumed that
health
issues are followed by consuming processed
food
and drinks which are high
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
sugar. Some are of the opinion that making sugary
food
pricier, probably would prevent people from buying them. Personally, I side with
this
view for a number of reasons. Sugary
products
can put our
health
at risk of various diseases. To commence with, sugar may cause serious
health
issues,
such
as heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. To clarify, it is common knowledge that you are what you eat. If one consumes sugary
products
excessively, one will
initially
confront obesity.
This
can eventually lead to other disease, including diabetes.
Consequently
, the government has to take
this
into account and take measures to improve the manufacturing of healthy
food
.
Furthermore
, imposing a tax or making sugary
food
pricier may deter people from buying
such
products
.
That is
to say, if a government puts higher prices on sugary raw materials, it can make the consumers reluctant to pay a small fortune for those.
Hence
, the manufacturer will not purchase sugary raw materials in order to produce
such
products
due to
less demand. To summarize, owing to the aforementioned reasons, I am totally convinced that we can avoid
health
problems by consuming
food
and drinks that are low in sugar.
Moreover
, levying a tax is one of the methods that can lead us to
this
goal.
Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on

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task achievement
Your essay responds well to the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, to achieve a higher score, you could include more developed and specific examples to illustrate your points. This would strengthen your argument and provide clearer support for your views.
coherence cohesion
Your main ideas are clear and logically structured. Consider varying your sentence structures and using more linking words to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question directly and maintains a consistent stance throughout.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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