IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The extinction of some
species
Use synonyms
 of plants and animals
indeed
Add a missing verb
is indeed
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the important environmental problems we have been facing in the past century.
However
Linking Words
, I believe there is a more fundamental issue that needs to be resolved.
This
Linking Words
 other issue, in my opinion,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 causing lots of other
dilemma
Change to a plural noun
dilemmas
show examples
, without exception, the
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of some living
species
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 planet
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
None
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
 disagrees that protecting certain
species
Use synonyms
 is crucial as living creatures are intercorrelated in an ecosystem in which
one
Use synonyms
 absence can put the whole system imbalance.
One
Use synonyms
species
Use synonyms
 could be a source of food for another, if
one
Use synonyms
 becomes unavailable, the predator will be
edangered
Correct your spelling
endangered
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a plant can be a shelter for many
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
species
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as birds, mammals, and even insects. Preserving
one
Use synonyms
species
Use synonyms
 is meant to ensure others will not be threatened.
However
Linking Words
, before we consider ways to preserve certain
species
Use synonyms
, it is more critical to address wider issues like global warming,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which, I think, is
one
Use synonyms
 of the root
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 of a plethora of environmental problems. There are several activities that drive
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon including rapid deforestation and the unsustainable way of use of fossil fuels.
Therefore
Linking Words
, humans need to find alternatives for these affairs. Addressing these aspects will bring
broader
Correct article usage
a broader
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the planet
such
Linking Words
 as improving the air
qualty
Correct your spelling
quality
, maintaining
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comfortable average temperature, and returning homes for many
species
Use synonyms
 through reforestation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these efforts could help to prevent the ice-land like the poles from melting, resulting in the protection of the homes of living creatures in
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
certain areas. In conclusion, preserving specific
species
Use synonyms
 is
undoubtly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 important, but global warming is the issue we need to
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
show examples
 in the bigger picture. Taking care of
this
Linking Words
 problem is the first step we need to take, as protecting endangered
species
Use synonyms
 will become more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 throughout the process.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to clarify your main ideas more distinctly in the introduction. A clearer thesis statement would help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have a clear topic sentence and that each one supports your main argument more cohesively.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points, particularly regarding the impacts of global warming.
positive aspect
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
positive aspect
Your understanding of the interconnection in ecosystems shows good insight into environmental issues.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: