IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that artificial intelligence (AI) has the power to improve our lives. However, others are worried that it could have a negative impact. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is true in the present era, more and more people depend on technology major, especially artificial intelligence because it plays a crucial role in our lives. Others claim
this
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 media is not beneficial for individuals
due to
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 its drawbacks impacts. From my perspective, I generally agree that the pros outweigh the cons.
This
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 essay will delve into both arguments regarding the phenomenon by supporting relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, AI has an essential positive aspect.
Firstly
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,
this
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 trend assists in acquiring knowledge by learning a variety of languages and cultures. To demonstrate more, the students in the Secondary school use
this
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 event to improve their abilities in reading and writing skills.
Thus
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, a study published at the University of Nizwa in 2016 showed several learners in
this
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 administration accomplished project graduation by using artificial intelligence.
As a result
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, they create full marks in the subjects.
On the other hand
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, virtual has certain negative for children. Definitely, a lot of parents encourage their children to use
this
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 trend in solving maths. To illustrate more,
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 category of people let the brain not work and tend to AI. As a sequence, more and more students in primary school have a low preference for tests. A report by UNESCO survey showed students who study in school should not encouraged to use AI which causes some issues in physical and mental health,
for example
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, headage and pressure but
also
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 problems with vision. In conclusion, I am convinced both arguments play a vital role in our lifestyle.
However
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, I totally agree that the advantages outnumber the disadvantages.
In addition
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, the public should make a balance in using technology.
Therefore
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, the government should encourage the residents to improve their fields via
this
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 program because the outcomes are not limited to citizens only but
also
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 have a profound impact on the community.

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Task Achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to present a clearer and more specific stance. A stronger introduction can set a better tone for your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear and logical transitions between your ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and explanations to support your points. This can enhance the clarity and strength of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You attempt to include relevant examples, which is essential for supporting your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint, which is a good practice in essay writing.
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