It is difficult for people living in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions can be taken to solve the problem? (Health)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, citizens who live in cities hardly get enough
workouts
.
This
is because they are likely to have a high workflow and it is pretty expensive to register as members of the
gym
. To tackle these problems,
people
can do their
exercise
at home and try to improve their
time
management.
People
who are living in metropolitan areas are likely to have corporate jobs. Which demands them to work for long periods of
time
.
For example
, I live in Jakarta, it is the capital city of Indonesia and most of the
people
in my city, work from 8 AM to 5 PM.
Then
, they still have deadlines that they need to finish at home. So it is pretty difficult for them to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper physical
exercise
.
Furthermore
, workout facilities like the
gym
it is very common in cities. A
gym
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is a workout place filled with a variety of machines that help
people
gain muscle mass and keep their bodies fit.
However
, registering as a
gym
member is quite expensive and most of the
gym
only provides a one-year subscription. If
people
want to move to another place they can not return their money.
Thus
, there are still many
people
who can afford to be one of the members. In order to tackle these problems,
people
can do their own
workouts
at home by searching for videos on YouTube. Which is an application, where
people
can post and see a variety of videos. There are a lot of
people
who share tips for doing
exercise
without using any equipment.
Then
, if
people
still struggling to get enough
time
for a workout they need to improve their
time
management by using a planner. In a planner,
people
can write their work deadlines and their free
time
, so they can arrange their schedules and able to put
workouts
in their timelines.
To sum up
,
people
who live in cities are not likely to get enough physical
exercise
. Because most of them have a high workload and hardly find an affordable
gym
. These issues can be solved by improving their
time
management and doing
workouts
at their own place.
Submitted by bmaharani04 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure to provide a clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly summarize the main points and restate the essay question.
logical structure
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas smoothly and logically throughout the essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific, detailed examples to strengthen your argument; these can be from personal experience, observations, or other credible sources.
complete response
Ensure that you answer all parts of the question comprehensively, providing a balanced discussion of causes and solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas further to ensure the reader can fully understand and follow your argument.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points, which will help to make your essay more relatable and grounded in reality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Recreational facilities
  • Urban planning
  • Active commuting
  • Public awareness
  • Green spaces
  • Pedestrian infrastructure
  • Work-life balance
  • Gamification
  • Incentivizing
  • Safety concerns
  • Technological reliance
  • Dietary habits
  • Workplace health programs
  • Motivational campaigns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: