IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people, To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays,
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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 populations are on Increase . All of the populations consist of
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of age groups , children, young and elderly
people
Use synonyms
. In many countries, humans are
livings
Correct your spelling
living
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 longer than ever before, They say
that is
Linking Words
 a benefit to the government,
in contrast
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 to others who argue about the governmental problem that follows. The two sides of
this
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 argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are known among
Correct article usage
the youngs
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youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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 that they are so humble.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone went for Shopping and
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
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 the store owner is an elderly man, immediately he feels
bleesed
Correct your spelling
blessed
.
In addition
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 to their ability to handle aggressive
argument
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arguments
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 wisely and patience when working under pressure.
This
Linking Words
 is a huge
strengths
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strength
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 and young
people
Use synonyms
 are not able to handle
thing
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things
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 in a
considerable
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considerably
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 wise manner as old
people
Use synonyms
 do
at
Change preposition
in
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work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Therefore
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, old
people
Use synonyms
 are adding to the community and we can learn from them.
on the other hand
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, most of
old
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the old
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people
Use synonyms
 suffer from chronic diseases.
For instance
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, governments
needs
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need
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 to financially support their
insurances
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insurance
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.
Moreover
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, their restricted movement may cause crowdness in public places. Sadly, Some of them use their situation for theft planning, by making
people
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 feel poor about them.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 think that elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are problematic and will affect the government in a detrimental way. In conclusion,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
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 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 within
comunities
Correct your spelling
communities
have
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has
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 both benefits and drawbacks. taking into consideration their valuable role in building
comunities
Correct your spelling
communities
 • It is recommended to show them respect and try to find reasons for their acts.

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grammar
Make sure to carefully proofread your essays to catch typographical and grammatical errors, which can detract from clarity.
structure
Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea; this will improve coherence and guide the reader through your arguments.
content
Include more specific examples to support your points, as this will enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
content
You present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
content
Your conclusion summarizes the key points effectively, showing that you understand the complexity of the issue.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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