Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternatives ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The
prison
Use synonyms
has been playing a significant role in a thief's punishment. Some people argue that the best method to decline crimes is the longer
prison
Use synonyms
, others Think there are a variety of approaches to decrease
crime
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement. in
this
Linking Words
essay, I am going to discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views and draw my own conclusions. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
longer
prison
Use synonyms
is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best punishment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
crimener
Correct your spelling
criminal
. To explain, the
government
Use synonyms
put some rules to keep safety in communities, The
government
Use synonyms
should
be prisoned
Wrong verb form
imprison
show examples
people who
broken
Add a missing verb
have broken
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
rules. Some
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
like killing should be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer than other
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
because
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
crimeners
Correct your spelling
crimes
form
to
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apply
show examples
danger in society.
For example
Linking Words
, the percentage of
crimener
Correct your spelling
criminal
who have
life's
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life
show examples
sentences
like
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for
show examples
killing is around 90%.
Thus
Linking Words
, the sentence is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best way to keep security in communities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several methods which the
government
Use synonyms
can be taken
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as a good alternative to
declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
crimes among citizens . To clarify,
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
like
stoling
Correct your spelling
stealing
storing
stalling
or debts should not be longer
Use synonyms
prison
Change preposition
in prison
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, there are a number
approaches
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of approaches
show examples
such
Linking Words
as sharing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
volunteers
Fix the agreement mistake
volunteer
show examples
work or
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
public work like cleaning
Add an article
the road
show examples
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Oman, there are a quite number of organizations that are responsible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
prisoner rehabilitation.
While
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
should follow
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different alternatives
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
some crimes.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer
prison
Use synonyms
sentences should be on a
adangerour
Correct your spelling
dangerous
crime
Use synonyms
like killing,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
use a variety
Change preposition
of way
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to
punished
Wrong verb form
punish
show examples
the crimener
such
Linking Words
as prisoner rehabilitation.

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task achievement
Ensure that all views are clearly and fully discussed. The opinion given in the introduction should also be more clearly connected to the main body of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and awkward wording. Phrasing such as 'a best punishment of crimener' should be corrected for clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to support your ideas with specific examples that relate clearly to the points being made. Some examples provided could be more relevant or detailed.
task achievement
The essay recognizes and discusses both viewpoints surrounding the issue of crime and punishment.
task achievement
There are some attempts to use examples, which is good practice for substantiating arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Restorative justice
  • Community policing
  • Economic development
  • Reintegration
  • Punitive measures
  • Inhumane conditions
  • Overcrowding
  • Social services
  • Tailored approaches
  • Public sentiment
  • Root causes
  • Taxpayer burden
What to do next:
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