Some people think that children should go to kindergarten before attending Primary School while other believe that it is better for children to stay all day with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,

kindergarten

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is usually the place where

parents

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are assured that

children

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are taken

care

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and

Change preposition

of and

show examples

taught by

kindergarten

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teachers

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. Some people think that

children

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should go to

kindergarten

Use synonyms

before attending Primary School

while

Linking Words

others believe that it is better for

children

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to spend all day with family. I personally think that

this

Linking Words

issue depends on each family. One of many reasons that some people think

children

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should go to

kindergarten

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children

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need to learn basic knowledge and develop other relationships. Before coming to Primary School,

kids

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are not only taken

care

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of by

kindergarten

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teachers

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but

also

Linking Words

they can study a little bit

lessons

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of lessons

show examples

and life skills. In many kindergartens, they are teaching the alphabet and how to

writing

Wrong verb form

write

show examples

correctly.

Besides

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the

teachers

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teaching about knowledge, they create some life skills periods to guide

children

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to have

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apply

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good behaviour and positive attitude towards all problems.

Additionally

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, each child can find out some new hobbies when they try activities at

kindergarten

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. Their popular hobbies are drawing, playing sports, robot programming,... Even though, their hobbies can be developmental like jobs in the future. Many households are so busy, they don't have nanny or watch over their

kids

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However

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, many people think

children

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should stay at home

instead

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of going to

kindergarten

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. The opinion comes from some families who want their

kids

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to be safe. Apart from that,

parents

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want to avoid some problems like

children

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being treated badly by

kindergarten

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teachers

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, less nutrition on lunch, don't have enough finances,...

This

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is a suitable choice for families who have plenty of time to teach

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

care

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for their

children

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. Almost

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children

Correct determiner usage

all children

show examples

stay with family and are taken

care

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of better than

children

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who go to

kindergarten

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. The reason why

that is

Linking Words

parents

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or grandparents can spend time looking after and minds of

children

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Then

Linking Words

each household can cost

saving

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to do other necessary things. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

issue relies on the

financial's

Change noun form

financial

show examples

family and suitability

for

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show examples

each child.

Firstly

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, if the

kindergarten

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family choose is reputable and suitable for their

children

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, they can choose.

Secondly

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, some

kids

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feel safe when

kids

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live in the house and

parents

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want to understand

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apply

show examples

and connect to

children

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more, so they should choose the option that

children

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stay at home.

linh006569Sun Feb 23 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider adding clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your ideas.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples or details to illustrate your points, making them more compelling.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread for grammatical accuracy and phrasing to enhance clarity.

task achievement

The essay presents both views and communicates your opinion, which is essential for the task.

task achievement

You provided some good reasons for both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

377 words

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Some people think that children should go to kindergarten before attending Primary School while other believe that it is better for children to stay all day with family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Public celebrations (festivals, national day) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important issues. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that every human being can create art (e.g. poetry, music, paintings). Other people think art can only be created by people born with a special ability. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?