IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Urban
areas
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 face increasing pressure to utilize public
spaces
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 efficiently. One recent trend is transforming
parks
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 into
community
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gardens
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 where residents can cultivate their own
food
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.
While
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this
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 initiative promotes sustainability and
food
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 security, it
also
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 raises concerns about reduced recreational
spaces
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.
This
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 essay argues that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, despite some valid counterarguments. One of the key benefits of converting public
spaces
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 into urban
gardens
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 is increased access to fresh, organic produce. In many cities, people struggle to afford healthy
food
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, and
community
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gardens
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 provide an affordable alternative.
Moreover
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, growing one's own
food
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 fosters a sense of responsibility and environmental awareness, encouraging individuals to adopt sustainable practices
such
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 as composting and water conservation. Another advantage is the potential for strengthening social ties within
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
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.
Community
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gardens
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 serve as gathering places where people collaborate, share knowledge, and develop relationships.
This
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 social interaction can enhance mental well-being, reduce loneliness, and create a sense of belonging, particularly in densely populated urban
areas
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.
However
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, some argue that repurposing
parks
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 for agriculture reduces public
spaces
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 meant for leisure and exercise.
Parks
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 offer a refuge for relaxation, sports, and recreational activities, which are crucial for public health. A decline in
such
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spaces
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 could negatively impact physical activity levels, especially for children and the elderly.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 issue can be addressed through balanced urban planning. Cities can allocate specific
areas
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 for gardening
while
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 maintaining
parks
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 for recreational use.
Additionally
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, vertical farming and rooftop
gardens
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 could serve as alternative solutions without compromising open
spaces
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. In conclusion,
while
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 converting
parks
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 into
food
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gardens
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 may reduce recreational
areas
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, the advantages of
food
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 security, environmental awareness, and social cohesion outweigh the drawbacks. With thoughtful urban planning, cities can integrate
community
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gardens
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while
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 preserving the need for public recreation.

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task achievement
Consider introducing more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments, especially regarding food insecurity and social cohesion in community gardens.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between points, particularly when addressing counterarguments, to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and effectively articulates the advantages of community gardens.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, summarizing the main points clearly and effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community engagement
  • Public health
  • Physical activity
  • Educational opportunities
  • Sustainability
  • Urban greening
  • Heat island effect
  • Air quality
  • Biodiversity
  • Recreational activities
  • Maintenance challenges
  • Allocation of responsibilities
  • Social inequality
  • Garden plots
  • Fairness concerns
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