Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantage?

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Since the technological enhancement set in, innovations

such

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as social

media

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has played an important role in individual's daily lives. Some social members believe that the communicating and up-to-the-minute reporting conveniences brought by social

media

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are beneficial to society,

while

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others disagree,

However

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, I strongly support

this

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viewpoint. Admittedly, there are a few drawbacks to social

media

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that are currently arousing people's attention,

such

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as the addiction it brings to kids with low self-control,

Nevertheless

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, rigid discipline by their caretakers would help with the inhibition of addiction.

Moreover

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, the popularity prevailed by social

media

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reduced the employment rate in reality when newspaper shops were no longer needed, that being said ,

this

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phenomenon is caused by the lack of enthusiasm and obsolete of institutions without innovating inclination.

In contrast

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, most of the online news agency are doing great.

Furthermore

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, social

media

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creates a cosy atmosphere which enables family reunions even from far away.

For instance

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, with today's technology, people living in South Africa are capable of formulating instant communication directly to other individuals within minutes.

Besides

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that,

this

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can be put into commercial use since global communication is achievable,

for example

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, tea can be sold from China to Italy without being shipped in the first place, which saves time and transportation costs for sellers since they will not have the obligation to selecting the right product for their customers. In conclusion, despite a few negative effects which can be put under control and neglectable, the merits of social

media

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to the community are enormously helpful in the emotional and economic domain.

2912241348Sun Nov 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity and organization.

coherence cohesion

Introduce a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.

task achievement

Consider further illustrating your points with more specific examples or anecdotes.

coherence cohesion

A clear introduction and conclusion frame the essay well.

task achievement

Examples such as global communication and the economic benefits of online sales enrich the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly, considering both advantages and potential disadvantages.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

real-time updates
global connectivity
professional networking
fake news
misinformation
social media addiction
mental health issues
privacy concerns
personal information
viral content

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In some countries, more and more adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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