Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

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According to
Linking Words
research, exercising has a positive effect on health for both young and old individuals.
This
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is why doctors are looking for ways to encourage the elderly
keep
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to keep
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in
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apply
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fit. Unfortunately, it has been noticed that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
in older ages do not practice, daily. Personally, I think that
this
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is because they have disbelief in their capabilities and
fear
Use synonyms
of getting hurt.
Therefore
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, in
order
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to
pursue
Verb problem
encourage
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them to exercise more, it is crucial to make them obtain belief in
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
and to overcome their fears.
To begin
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with, I believe that the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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older
people
Use synonyms
do not exercise regularly because they do not have belief in their capabilities. Despite the good effect exercising has on their health, they are usually absolutely unwilling to practice because they feel
discourage
Wrong verb form
discouraged
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that they cannot manage it.
Consequently
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, it is our duty as youngsters to help them obtain faith and encourage them to start practicing.
For instance
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, children should be
advided
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advised
to spare time with their grandparents doing physical activities together, like walking or cycling, not only in
order
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to spend time together but
also
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to help them stay
in
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apply
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fit.
Furthermore
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, another significant cause of
this
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phenomenon is the
feelling
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feeling
of
fear
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. The elderly do not exercise because they
fear
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
getting hurt. These
feelling
Correct your spelling
feelings
might have come from a previous experience of
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
or someone else. One way to help them encounter it is through conversation and certainly making sure that they are provided with all the safety they need.
For example
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, coaches should treat them with caution in group personal training in
order
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to ensure their safety. All in all, exercising must be in the life of every
people
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regardless
their
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of their
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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. All of us, including the elderly, should be encouraged to be more active for health reasons, too. Unfortunately, older
people
Use synonyms
do not practice as much as they should. My belief is that
this
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is
primarly
Correct your spelling
primarily
because they feel discouraged and
fear
Use synonyms
. In
order
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to overcome their feeling, we should act and help to deal with them.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider using a stronger thesis statement in your introduction to clearly outline the main points you will discuss. This will provide better guidance for the reader and strengthen the coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and improve transitions between ideas. This will enhance the flow of your writing and make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Be careful with the use of terminology and grammar. For instance, 'obtain belief in themselfs' should be 'obtain belief in themselves'. Such inaccuracies can distract from your ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistics to support your claims. This will help to enhance the relevance and strength of your arguments, making your essay more convincing.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have successfully identified causes and solutions, which demonstrates good task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally clear, with distinct paragraphs for each main point, contributing to overall coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivation
  • physical limitations
  • lack of time
  • fear of injury
  • exercise facilities
  • misunderstanding
  • benefits of exercise
  • social support
  • poor health conditions
  • awareness
  • appropriate exercises
  • guidance
  • financial constraints
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