IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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It is true that cultural
traditions
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 are similar all over the
world
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 when compared to the past.
Although
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 I understand some positive sides of
this
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 trend, I consider that it is rather a negative development. In the modern
world
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, the
world
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 population inherits the culture of other nations, which might improve
people
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's relationships.
As a result
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 of immigration,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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major cities
such
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 as London or New York
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 inhabitants from all over the globe.
For instance
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, approximately 70% of London's citizens are overseas
people
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. They work together and have to spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
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 time together. The cultural differences might deter them from
the
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apply
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developing
of
Change preposition
apply
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their friendship.
As a result
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,
people
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 started to get to know the cultural
traditions
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 of each other, spending more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 together or even
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 couples.
This
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 situation
have
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has
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 a positive impact on common life.
However
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, nowadays,
as a result
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 of globalisation,
people
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 have started to share the customs and
traditions
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 of foreign countries, which might be a threat to the main values of nations or particular groups of
people
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. Everyone starts to celebrate the same holidays which are not typical for them. Take Christmas,
for example
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.
This
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 holiday used to be the most significant celebration for all Christians in the past,
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while
Correct word choice
but
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 in the modern
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world
Add a comma
world,
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 all religious groups are starting to celebrate it in
the
Change the article
a
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 different way, distorting it. If before everything was dedicated to Jesus
Crist
Correct your spelling
Christ
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, today
this
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 day has received a commercial purpose, with hordes of
people
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 using thousands of pounds for presents rather
that
Correct word choice
than
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 spending more time to pray in a church or at home. In conclusion, I take the view that sharing cultural
traditions
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 between nationalities or religious groups might destroy their core values.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your overall argument. Linking your ideas more clearly could enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
While your points are valid, providing more specific examples could strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Check for minor grammar issues, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Polishing these can significantly improve clarity.
task achievement
The recognition of both positive and negative aspects of cultural homogenization is a nuanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Global culture
  • Cultural identity
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural exchange
  • Minority languages
  • Cultural diversity
  • Localization
  • Cultural preservation
  • International communication
  • Interconnected world
  • Youth culture
  • Cultural heritage
  • Hybrid cultures
  • Cultural authenticity
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