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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays,a growing number of peoples with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

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In recent years, an increasing number of individuals with
health
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 issues have turned to
alternative
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medicine
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 rather than seeking
treatment
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 from their usual doctors.
While
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 some may argue that traditional
remedies
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 offer natural and holistic healing, I firmly believe that
this
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 shift is a negative development. The
lack
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 of scientific validation, potential
health
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 risks, and delays in receiving effective
treatment
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 make
alternative
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medicine
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 a dangerous choice. One of the primary concerns with
alternative
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medicine
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 is its
lack
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 of scientific evidence. Unlike conventional
treatments
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, which undergo rigorous clinical trials and are regulated by
health
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 authorities, many
alternative
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 therapies are based on anecdotal claims rather than proven medical research.
This
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 can lead to ineffective
treatments
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 or even harmful consequences.
For instance
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, some herbal
remedies
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 can interact negatively with prescription drugs, causing severe side effects. Without proper regulation and clinical testing, patients may unknowingly put their
health
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 at risk.
Moreover
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, reliance on
alternative
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medicine
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 can lead to delays in receiving appropriate medical care. Many serious conditions,
such
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 as cancer and cardiovascular diseases, require immediate medical intervention.
However
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, some individuals may waste valuable time experimenting with unproven
treatments
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, believing that natural
remedies
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 can cure them.
This
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 can result in disease progression, reducing the chances of successful recovery. A well-documented example is the case of Steve Jobs, who
initially
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 rejected conventional cancer
treatment
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 in
favor
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favour
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 of
alternative
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 therapies, which likely contributed to the worsening of his condition. Another major issue is the
lack
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 of professional regulation in the field of
alternative
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medicine
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. Unlike licensed doctors who undergo years of education and training, many
alternative
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 practitioners have little to no formal medical background.
This
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 increases the risk of misdiagnosis and improper
treatment
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, as patients may be advised to follow ineffective or even harmful practices.
In contrast
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, modern healthcare systems are equipped with advanced diagnostic tools and evidence-based
treatments
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, ensuring a higher standard of care. In conclusion, the growing preference for
alternative
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medicine
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 is a worrying trend
due to
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 its
lack
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 of scientific credibility, potential
health
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 risks, and the danger of delaying essential medical
treatment
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.
While
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 some traditional
remedies
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 may serve as complementary therapies under professional guidance, replacing conventional
medicine
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 with unproven alternatives is a highly detrimental choice.
Therefore
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, individuals should rely on qualified medical professionals to ensure their
health
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 and well-being.

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Task Achievement
While your argument is well-structured, consider adding counterarguments to show a more balanced view. It strengthens persuasive writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to include clearer transitions between paragraphs for even smoother flow in coherence.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic with strong arguments and examples to support your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion effectively summarizing your stance.
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