Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of sources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the world is suffering from climate change, some countries
face
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are facing
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a
noticable
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noticeable
raise
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rise
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in their temperature
while
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others are dealing with the wild fire which
lead
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leads
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to
a
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apply
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sever
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severe
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habitat
lose
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loss
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,
however
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, there are still some people
think
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who think
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that governments should not waste their money on trying to protect these animals. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
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claim.
Firstly
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, securing a balanced ecosystem can regulate our world climate.
In other words
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,
politicains
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politicians
should agree on rules that help the environment by building an animal sanctuary which should increase the productivity of
the
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apply
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living things and may limit the number of endangered species,
as well as
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regulating
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regulate
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the temperature changes.
For instance
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, the panda is
clasified
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classified
as an endangered animal
by
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apply
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which
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and
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the Chinese government
construct
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constructed
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panda reserves in order to protect them from extinction;
as a result
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, it showed an increase of more than 50% in less than a century.
Secondly
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, having a large zoo with a diverse amount of animals that can move freely and plants, can attract many tourists and naturalist magazines,
such
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as National Geographic, to challenge photographers on the best captured picture.
Therefore
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, governments can get a huge financial
benifit
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benefit
benefits
from it.
For example
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, in some African countries, there are many nature preserves that
offers
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offer
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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guided toures and resorts inside the reserve by which they manage to receive a great amount of income to develop their animal security. In conclusion, in order to face the ecological problems, I
belive
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believe
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that living things must be under
protiction
Correct your spelling
protection
and there should be rules that enhance it.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position more explicitly, perhaps rephrasing to connect your opinion clearly to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your ideas. Using linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to support your main points, particularly when discussing the benefits of ecosystems and wildlife protections.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar (e.g., 'noticeable', 'severe', 'benefit') to enhance readability and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and makes a strong argument against the claim that wild animals have no place in the modern world.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples of programs in China and Africa, which help to demonstrate your points effectively, showing a good breadth of knowledge.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Conservation
  • Endangered species
  • Ecological balance
  • Food chain
  • Sustainability
  • Economic value
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Agriculture
  • Ethical responsibility
  • Moral obligation
  • Extinction
  • Viability
  • Cultural significance
  • Scientific research
  • Medical advancements
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