Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I think many
people
Use synonyms
around the world spend their time in front of the TV and watching TV is one of the most common breaks,
also
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
believe that it can destroy family life and society relationships
although
Linking Words
I agree with them, I believe that the technological devices are useful for building relationships by new ways. At
first,
Linking Words
we have lovely times when we watch series and movies with our families and that’s why you invite relatives to enjoy free time together during the weekends, and television has been the easiest choice for them.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
technological device makes
people
Use synonyms
happier than before. In conclusion, TV can improve families’ relationships by getting them together to watch a movie or series. By the way, many
people
Use synonyms
believe
this
Linking Words
device can be destructive, as television has proved to be the greatest source to raise discussion among close friends and family members.
Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Consider beginning with a clear introduction that presents your stance on the topic, followed by main body paragraphs that explore your reasons in more detail, and a conclusion that reiterates your opinion.
coherence
To improve coherence, try to use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to connect your ideas more smoothly.
development
For higher task achievement scores, ensure that examples are detailed and directly support your main points.
content
Your essay demonstrates a balanced view on the topic by acknowledging both sides of the argument.
structure
You have effectively used the conclusion to restate your main opinion, enhancing the overall clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: