Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#television #life #sense #community #people #fo

I think many

people

around the world spend their time in front of the TV and watching TV is one of the most common breaks,

also

many

people

believe that it can destroy family life and society relationships

although

I agree with them, I believe that the technological devices are useful for building relationships by new ways. At

first,

we have lovely times when we watch series and movies with our families and that’s why you invite relatives to enjoy free time together during the weekends, and television has been the easiest choice for them.

Therefore

this

technological device makes

people

happier than before. In conclusion, TV can improve families’ relationships by getting them together to watch a movie or series. By the way, many

people

believe

this

device can be destructive, as television has proved to be the greatest source to raise discussion among close friends and family members.

Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on Sun Apr 07 2024

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structure

Consider beginning with a clear introduction that presents your stance on the topic, followed by main body paragraphs that explore your reasons in more detail, and a conclusion that reiterates your opinion.

coherence

To improve coherence, try to use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to connect your ideas more smoothly.

development

For higher task achievement scores, ensure that examples are detailed and directly support your main points.

content

Your essay demonstrates a balanced view on the topic by acknowledging both sides of the argument.

structure

You have effectively used the conclusion to restate your main opinion, enhancing the overall clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

150 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that development of technology helps to reduce crime, whike others think that it encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?