Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

I think many
people
around the world spend their time in front of the TV and watching TV is one of the most common breaks,
also
many
people
believe that it can destroy family life and society relationships
although
I agree with them, I believe that the technological devices are useful for building relationships by new ways. At
first,
we have lovely times when we watch series and movies with our families and that’s why you invite relatives to enjoy free time together during the weekends, and television has been the easiest choice for them.
Therefore
,
this
technological device makes
people
happier than before. In conclusion, TV can improve families’ relationships by getting them together to watch a movie or series. By the way, many
people
believe
this
device can be destructive, as television has proved to be the greatest source to raise discussion among close friends and family members.
Submitted by basirat.amirhosein on

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structure
Consider beginning with a clear introduction that presents your stance on the topic, followed by main body paragraphs that explore your reasons in more detail, and a conclusion that reiterates your opinion.
coherence
To improve coherence, try to use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to connect your ideas more smoothly.
development
For higher task achievement scores, ensure that examples are detailed and directly support your main points.
content
Your essay demonstrates a balanced view on the topic by acknowledging both sides of the argument.
structure
You have effectively used the conclusion to restate your main opinion, enhancing the overall clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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