IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your houseflat •Explain the reasons for the noise •Apologise •Describe what action you would take

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It is true in the present era, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from the loud noise of their neighbours, especially in the homestay. From my perspective,
this
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 trend nowadays increases among individuals
due to
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 the design of buildings playing a crucial reason.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon, and the solutions to solve
this
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 issue, by providing relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, currently, several communities complain about
this
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 trend. The key reason is the structure of buildings which use cheap materials.
Thus
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, these materials have assisted in creating a loud volume among flats.
Moreover
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, a study published at the University of Nizwa in 2014 showed a variety of students' accommodations are not comfortable because of the sounds in rooms. As a sequence, the administration rebuilt these houses by using new materials to avoid the volume.
On the other hand
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, there are strong principles to solve
this
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 phenomenon. The major solution is using high-quality items in the buildings. To demonstrate more, the world's day provides numerous of these fields to obtain the ultimate in comfort. What is more, parents should put strict rules on their children to reduce their noise in terms of playing or discussing certain issues. The
last
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 side of
this
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 event is exchange the of respect between the residents because a lot of
people
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 have raised awareness about families who have small children. In conclusion.I am convinced
this
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 risk should be solved in
this
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 era.
By contrast
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,
people
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 should raise awareness and not introduce complaints without knowing the reasons.
However
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, I totally agree about
this
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 trend but several citizens have caused loud sounds,
for instance
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, older
people
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 can not control their sounds
due to
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 diseases.
As a result
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, the government should put strict rules in some situations and encourage them to raise awareness by applications or channels on TV. In fact, the outcomes are not limited to individuals only but
also
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 to society.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a good overview of the topic, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement outlining the main points you plan to discuss. Additionally, refine the definition of the current issue for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are difficult to follow due to awkward phrasing. Aim for clearer connections between your ideas and coherent transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance overall clarity and flow.
task achievement
When discussing solutions, try to provide more specific actions that can be taken rather than broad statements. This will also help strengthen your argument and make your examples more relevant to the problem.
task achievement
You demonstrated a good understanding of the topic and made relevant points regarding the root cause of noise issues in housing.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging the perspectives of different groups (like families with children and older residents), which is a positive aspect.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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