IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, when students did a , they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
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 that the
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
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 of
students
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 abroad rather
in
Change preposition
than in
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 their own country is ubiquitous across the globe
due to
Linking Words
 its importance.
Majority
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The majority
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 of folks are in
the
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apply
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favour of
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
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 its number of merits.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 some of the people highlight its demerits first. In my
further
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 paragraphs,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and disadvantages of the same will be discussed. Initiating with the benefits of the same, the first and foremost key benefit
while
Linking Words
 studying abroad
Use synonyms
students
Add a missing verb
is students
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also
Linking Words
 work on
part-time
Add an article
the part-time
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job
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jobs
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 so they can earn money and university
also
Linking Words
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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schoolarships
Correct your spelling
scholarships
so that
students
Use synonyms
 can manage their living expenses so they can
became
Change the verb form
become
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 independent.
Moreover
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, in
forigen
Correct your spelling
foreign
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countries
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country
Add a comma
country,
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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technologys
Correct your spelling
technologies
technology
 are available for
puiple
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pupils
 by which they can excel in their skills and campus placements are
also
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 available.
For instance
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, in a recent
suervy
Correct your spelling
survey
 by IDP, approx 85% of
the
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apply
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Indian
students
Use synonyms
 are
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
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 their higher studies in the UK and they are getting well paid. On its darker side, some of the drawbacks which
makes
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make
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 it problematic are
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firstly
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first
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,
students
Use synonyms
 can not
affored tution
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afford tuition
fee
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fees
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 because in
aborad
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abroad
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 universities fees are too costly rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 in their own country.
Secondly
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, many
students
Use synonyms
 come under stress or depression because they feel homesick and hostile environment so they can not survive.
Finally
Linking Words
, food choice
in
Correct your spelling
is
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 major problem and many
sutudents
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students
 do not know
the
Rephrase
how the
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cooking
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cook
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.
For example
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,
Bank
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the Bank
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 of India has published
a
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apply
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data in which 50% of
students
Use synonyms
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
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 to pay
loan
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loans
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 due the high
tution
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tuition
 fees and
mark
Wrong verb form
are marked
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 as bed
debth
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debt
. In conclusion to the above statement, neither its pros can be neglected nor its cons. It is a mixed bag of positives and negatives. In my opinion, the statement should not be underestimated.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your paragraphs are well-organized. Use cohesive devices such as linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Clarify your argument by providing a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Make sure to clearly state your position in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Be more precise with language and grammar. There are several spelling mistakes and awkward phrases that could be improved for a clearer expression of ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided relevant ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, which shows your understanding of the task.
task achievement
Your use of examples adds strength to your arguments, particularly the survey data you referenced, which supports your points well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural diversity
  • Global exposure
  • Prestigious universities
  • Cross-cultural communication
  • Language barriers
  • Financial implications
  • International qualifications
  • Global networking
  • Cultural adaptation
  • Educational opportunities
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