IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?

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According to
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 British and Australian legislation judge, members are not allowed to access past defendant misdeeds to safeguard the convicts,
However
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, some connoisseurs proposed a change of the rule, permitting the jury to know the outlaws' past life for the sake of better judgment. Personally, I agree with the view owing to the fact that a shortfall in information could condemn innocents.
Although
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, it has its adverse side effects.
This
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 essay will shed light on the matter and provide evidence to prove the arguments. On the one hand, convicts' previous information saves innocents.
In other words
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, it gathers relevant previous records, which help the judge members to make a better decision. Over the past years, 70% of defendants were imprisoned innocently in Australia
due to
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 lack of proof, and solely past records could solve the conundrum
for instance
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.
As a result
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, naive individuals were confined, and the criminal justice system was not fair enough. But after the ruling power took regard to the expert's suggestion not to blame were acquitted.
On the other hand
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, the defendant's past facts revive the false past image. Because of what one had done in the past, he could simply be regarded guilty in case of ambiguity in a panel opinion.
For example
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, recent research carried out by the University of Oxford showcased that a considerable number of guiltless were detained only for being in jail before.
Hence
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, guiltless were jailed.
Furthermore
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, it is the overriding reason for tenure in a plethora of nations. In conclusion, notwithstanding some drawbacks, the proposed change could result in judge members' decision, that they should be allowed to access all convicts' past misdeeds for the sake of removing all possible misunderstandings.
Therefore
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, I still agree with the view and I recommend the local ruling power take into regard these experts' proposals.

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task response
To improve the task response, ensure that all points are fully developed and thoroughly explored. Though the essay conveys a clear stance, it could benefit from more detailed and varied examples to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
While coherence and cohesion are reasonably well-maintained, the essay would benefit from more fluid transitions between ideas. This would make the progression of thoughts smoother and the overall structure more logically connected.
task response
The essay provides a balanced view, addressing both sides of the argument which adds depth to the analysis.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic. This sets a clear direction for the reader and establishes the context for the discussion.
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