IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.
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The given chart illustrates the
nubmer
Correct your spelling
number
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in three stages during 20 years from 1971 to 1991 in Britain.
overall
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
wants
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to study in Britain male or female
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 part-time
education
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1971-1991
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
while
Linking Words
observig
Correct your spelling
observing
 between full-time
education
Use synonyms
 with part-time, part-time takes the highest place
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
 men and women. Starting from 1971 to 1981 attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
education
Use synonyms
 decreased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 100 (
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
). In order to
this
Linking Words
 within the next 10 years showed up slightly increasing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the frame of 20 years
full-time
Change preposition
of full-time
show examples
 educators only
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 slowly
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from 100 to 220.
However
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
again part-time played the most crucial role. When it comes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females in full-time and part-time studying
as well as
Linking Words
 part-time makes significant role in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 periods. Both of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 shifts only experienced growing up. In 1971 full-time
participitants
Correct your spelling
participants
 were around 800 (thousands), it went up till 1991. Full-time attenders increased slightly over the three periods.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time education
  • part-time education
  • further education
  • gender comparison
  • trend analysis
  • notable increase
  • decrease
  • consistent trend
  • educational patterns
  • substantial differences
  • preferences
  • evolve
  • societal factors
  • economic influences
  • accessibility
  • job market
  • gender roles
  • projections
  • implications
  • educational policy
  • workforce development
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