IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in findingout about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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Nowadays, there is a greater increasing amount of communities who have an interest in investigating their accommodation story in many nations. As
this
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 phenomenon becomes more and more common, many people want to know why it happened and how to research it, so I will explore the explanation of the reason for the importance of
history
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 and researching methods like surfing the internet and reading
history
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 books. The key reason is about the importance of the
history
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. In recent years, the development of science and technology has become much more powerful, it makes people, no matter their age, start to forget the past slowly.To solve
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 problem, the government started to make some strategies for historical education and the benefits of social activities about
history
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.
For instance
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, more and more universities and high schools planning to increase the
history
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 courses and majors.what’s more, some communities have already organized the elder group to go to the
history
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 museum for free. So it makes people’s desire to know their living place in the past stronger.
In addition
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, there are
also
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 some other reasons.As price inflation, some residents are motivated to know their house’s value so that they can have some ideas on the time and chance to sell it. In
this
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 situation,
history
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 becomes the first important thing to estimate the price as historical architectural significance can increase its market value. Turning to practical methods, there are several effective ways for individuals to investigate the
history
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 of their homes. The first approach must be using science and technology , especially artificial intelligence which is the most convenient and effective way to research something.
However
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, there is a shortage in which is hard to find some ancient and detailed information, so another useful option is reading books. By the way, it is easy to buy some professional-related books nowadays.
Moreover
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, going to the library to study historical buildings is
also
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 a good method. In brief, government encouragement and house price inflation are the main reasons for the cause of residents wanting to find out the
history
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 of the house they live in.
Furthermore
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, people can research the basic information on the internet and study some details from the book.

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task response
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will help guide your reader better.
task response
While you have supportive ideas, try to elaborate on your points with more detailed examples and explanations, particularly in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your points with paragraphs. For instance, the sentences discussing inflation and the value of homes can be more distinct from the ones about governmental initiatives.
coherence cohesion
You can improve the readability of your essay by using more varied sentence structures and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas.
task response
You effectively identified several relevant reasons for the increasing interest in the history of homes, which shows a good level of understanding of the topic.
task response
The use of specific examples, such as educational initiatives and the role of inflation, adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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