The rise of online shopping has transformed the way many people purchase goods. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Shopping is an essential part of our life and over the past few years, online shopping has become very popular and

this

rise of online shopping has changed the way of shopping for many people.

This

essay will discuss both the advantages and the disadvantages of online shopping. There are many advantages of online shopping.The person who is not free and has no

time

to visit the market can buy goods without visiting the market.

In addition

, He will receive the product on the door.He did not have to carry the things either.

For example

,I do online shopping most of the

time

because I do not usually have

time

to go to the market and

then

get those bags at home

that is

why I prefer online shopping.So, we can say that online shopping saves

time

and it is more easy.

However

, there are disadvantages as well.In online shopping, scams are very common.You will not always get what you have ordered online even though we can return the bought product but it takes so much

time

Furthermore

,Online shopping can be very expensive because you have to pay for the delivery and

also

those products are always more expensive than local markets because of the brandings and the advertisements.

For instance

,My brother buys things online and he gets scammed 70% of the

time

he wastes

big

Correct word choice

a large

show examples

amount of money In conclusion,We can say there are advantages

such

as ease of shopping, It saves

time

and home delivery. But at the same

time

, there are disadvantages at the same

time

such

as scams, slow

returning

Replace the word

return

show examples

process in case of any scam and high prices.

Submitted by Saad Kamal on Sat Aug 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to avoid redundancy in your sentences. For instance, the phrase "there are advantages at the same time" could be shortened to "there are also advantages."

task achievement

Ensure that your examples are clear and concise. The example of your brother getting scammed could be more specific to effectively illustrate your point.

coherence cohesion

Improve the fluidity of your writing by minimizing the use of repetitive phrases. For example, the phrase "at the same time" is repeated unnecessarily.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well.

task achievement

Your writing addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, providing a balanced discussion.

task achievement

You offer personal examples to support your points, making the essay more relatable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The rise of online shopping has transformed the way many people purchase goods. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to wok in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Disccuss both of these views and give your opinion

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree.

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

Some people think that company should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.