Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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When it comes to competition and comparison between individuals, some people find it necessary to improve themselves,

while

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others

Use synonyms

believe that it might be just a waste of time and we should

instead

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learn how to cooperate efficiently to overcome difficult tasks more easily. In

this

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essay, both views are covered and I will

also

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mention why I consider competitive

work

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not so beneficial to the human race.

To begin

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with, the first group might consider

this

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method to be useful because it would put individuals in a race for better achievements by giving them no other options but to compare themselves with their teammates or classmates, resulting in greater self-growth.

However

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, they do not include all types of personalities. In detail, some people are overwhelmed when placed in

such

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atmospheres and they will become discouraged if they feel that they can not follow up with

others

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in the group.

For instance

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, if a student is compared to

others

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just by his/her scores, he/she might get disappointed when compared to students with higher numbers.

Furthermore

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, competitive

work

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or study is often just a waste of time, as it has no benefit for the person utilizing it.

For example

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, in some cases, an individual might lose potential opportunities in the hectic pace of following

others

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' goals.

On the other hand

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, in cooperative

work

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, people have the chance to be helped by

others

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instead

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of racing each other.

In addition

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, it has

also

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been proven that groups who

work

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together are often more successful than the ones trying to argue about who is the best

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they can split up the tasks and get along much easier.

To conclude

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, the ratio of disadvantages of competition and plus points of cooperation makes me believe that it would be much more operational if individuals

know

Wrong verb form

knew

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how to deal with teamwork

instead

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of trying to be better than everyone as an individual unit.

Taha Sol.Fri Feb 28 2025

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task achievement

While your essay presents both views well, ensure that all points are supported with more specific examples. For instance, elaborating on how cooperation leads to success could strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines the essay’s direction, but you can improve coherence by using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas. This will enhance the flow between paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, try to summarize your main arguments more explicitly to make your opinion clearer and reinforce your stance on the issue.

task achievement

You successfully articulate both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion in your conclusion, which demonstrates good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your writing is generally well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

hese days internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?