In some countries the average weight of people is increasing, and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

Obesity is a major concern of humans across the world
due to
which
Correct article usage
the
show examples
fitness level of society is at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk.
This
essay
will discuss the main causes of being overweight including extended working hours and consumption of processed
food
.
This
essay
will
also
suggest solutions including maintaining a work-life balance and healthy dietary patterns. People spend lots of their
time
at the workplace. Since career is a competitive domain, the workforce oftentimes engages in building social relationships and learning new skills
due to
which plenty of their
time
goes through stress and curiosity.
In addition
, the most popular choice among humans is fast
food
because it is not only convenient but
also
tasty which badly affects metabolism and increases fats in the human body.
Thus
, the long working hours and fast
food
have repercussions on health.
Conversely
, work-life balance is highly inevitable for fitness. Even though exercises take lots of effort, these help to burn calories and unwind our minds. All those who regularly exercise, enjoy a happy life.
Also
, a well-balanced diet is even more important for a healthy lifestyle. People should eat all kinds of foods including cereals, meat, vegetables, and fruits. Meals should be taken three times a day skipping a meal results in overeating the next
time
.
Therefore
, work-life balance and
food
can mitigate health issues. In conclusion, being overweight is a major constraint for fitness and health.
This
essay
discusses spending an enormous amount of
time
at work and eating fast
food
are the causes.
This
essay
suggests differentiating between job and physical activities and consuming a variety of
food
are the solutions that can help to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by Haris Khan on

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Task response
To improve task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the questions asked, providing a thorough exploration of the causes and solutions related to the topic. You should also aim to include more specific examples to support your arguments.
Coherence & cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with clear transitions. While your essay has a logical structure, utilizing a wider range of linking phrases could enhance the overall cohesion.
Supported main points
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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