IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think visitors to other countries should imitate local customs and behaviour. Some pople disagree, they think the host country should welcome cultural differenecs. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

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There are various
customs
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 around the world.
While
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 many support visitors to follow regional
customs
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, others argue that cultural differences should be celebrated by the host nation
instead
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.
This
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 essay will explain
both
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 views in detail and provide the reasons why I think that a mix of
both
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 is fundamental.
Firstly
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, those who prioritise
customs
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 believe that
this
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 is a way for outsiders to show respect to the visiting country.
For example
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, everyone in Saudi Arabia dresses modestly, especially inside a mosque which is holy for Muslims.
As a result
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, if
tourists
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also
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 wish to visit a mosque
then
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 they should follow the instructions practised for decades out of respect for the Saudi community.
On the other hand
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, those who claim that local
customs
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 should not be bound on visitors; rather states should appreciate cultural differences and have a valid perspective.
That is
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 visitors should not only learn from the visiting country but
also
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 educate about their culture too.
For instance
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, a Hindu or Muslim visiting abroad can teach them about their dietary restrictions,
otherwise
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 their food cannot be accommodated properly.
Hence
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, tourism can be an excellent form of education if treated that way. In my opinion, I feel it is important to preach a bit of
both
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.
That is
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 the host state's culture should be practiced by
tourists
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 and some cultures from the
tourists
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 should be permitted by the visiting country for educational purposes. There must be a 'give and take' situation in order to fully benefit from the wonderfully diverse and multicultural communities of
this
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 globe.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are numerous reasons why
tourists
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 should and should not follow local
customs
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, I think there should be a middle ground.
In other words
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,
both
Use synonyms
 parties should respect the practices of each other and not restrict it to only one side.

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task response
The essay provides a clear opinion, addresses the task, and discusses both views effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, and the essay is logically structured.
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