nowadays many people face health problems what causes this and what are solutions

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In recent years, the number of individuals who have significant
health
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issues has increased rapidly primarily
due to
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junk food consumption and sedentary lifestyles .
Although
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the issue of
health
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remains a significant concern, leading to serious diseases, I firmly believe that
this
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problem can be addressed by implementing strategies
such
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as promoting a balanced diet and an active lifestyle.
This
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essay will discuss both causes and solutions for
this
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phenomenon.
To begin
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with, the main factor contributing to
health
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problems is junk food consumption
this
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problem arises because the majority of
people
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eat burgers ,and pizza
as well as
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products which contain high levels of sugar.
For instance
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, the majority of US citizens suffer from obesity-related illnesses
such
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as diabetes and heart attacks.
This
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demonstrates that diet plays a crucial role in one's
health
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.
Additionally
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,a sedentary lifestyle causes
people
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to be less physically active.Nowadays the majority of
people
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work in front of computers without any movement.
Consequently
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as a result
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many individuals suffer from muscle-related diseases. Despite all these challenges,
this
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issue can be tackled by implementing effective strategies.
Firstly
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,schools should teach students the importance of a balanced diet.
For instance
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,the students can learn nutrition in biology classes.
This
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will help
people
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prevent diet-related illnesses.
Secondly
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, the government should build open-air fitness.
For example
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, Astana City Hall built a botanic park with fitness equipment.
This
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motivates
people
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to do sport. In conclusion, the rise in
health
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issues is largely attributed to poor dietary choices and inactive lifestyles.
However
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, by promoting healthier eating habits and encouraging physical activity, society can significantly reduce the prevalence of chronic diseases. It is essential for individuals, communities, and policymakers to work together to create a healthier future.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples in the main body of the essay to further support your points. For instance, you could elaborate on the impact of these health issues on daily lives or provide statistical data to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your sentences are well-punctuated, as there are a few instances where commas are needed to separate clauses, making some sentences overly lengthy or unclear.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay, which can help in making your arguments more coherent overall.
Positive Highlight
The introduction effectively outlines the main issues and solutions that will be discussed in the essay, providing a clear preview of the content.
Positive Highlight
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay and reinforces the need for collective action to address health issues.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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