The government should spend money in promoting sports and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that the government should focus on promoting

sports

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and

art

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schools

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instead

Linking Words

of sponsoring professional

sports

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and

art

Use synonyms

events in communities. I agree with

this

Linking Words

idea for several reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, investing in

sports

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and

art

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education in

schools

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provides long-term benefits for

students

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. These activities help children develop important skills that are valuable in life.

For example

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, participating in

sports

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like football or basketball teaches

students

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teamwork, discipline, and how to set goals. These skills are not only beneficial for physical health but

also

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for academic and personal success.

Similarly

Linking Words

art

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classes encourage creativity and self-expression, helping

students

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think critically and solve problems.

For instance

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students

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who take part in school

art

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projects can improve their attention to detail and learn how to communicate ideas visually.

Secondly

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, promoting

sports

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and

art

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schools

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ensures that all

students

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, regardless of their background, have access to these opportunities. Not every child can afford to attend professional events or join expensive

sports

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clubs.

However

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, by funding school programs, the government makes these activities accessible to everyone.

For example

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, a student from a low-income family might not have the resources to participate in professional ballet, but they can still take part in school

art

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classes or

sports

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teams, gaining valuable experiences.

While

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sponsoring professional

sports

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and

art

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events in the community can be exciting, it often benefits only a small number of people, usually those who can afford tickets. In conclusion, I believe the government should focus on promoting

sports

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and

art

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schools

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, as it offers equal opportunities for all

students

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and contributes to their personal growth and development.

i.nureddinnFri Feb 28 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to link your ideas more explicitly with transition phrases to enhance flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Expand on some of your points with additional examples or elaboration to strengthen your arguments further.

task achievement

The essay presents clear arguments supporting the viewpoint with relevant examples, showing a strong understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is well-organized, with clear introduction and conclusion sections, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Foster early talent
Holistic development
Accessibility
Long-term benefits
Socio-economic background
Culturally rich society
Reduced inequality
Community bonding
Foundation skills
Engaged citizens

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The government should spend money in promoting sports and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many governments spend too much money on weapons and military equipment. It would be better for the government to use the money spent on the military to improve its citizens' quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?