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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

nowadays many students study abroad do you think advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, an increasing number of young people have chosen to pursue higher
education
Use synonyms
 abroad.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 trend results in financial burdens, brain drain, and diminished family support, I firmly believe that its advantages,
such
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 as quality
education
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, expanded worldview, and enhanced career opportunities, far outweigh its drawbacks. One of the most significant disadvantages of studying abroad is its high financial cost. Tuition fees, accommodation, and daily expenses often force families to take out loans, creating long-term financial pressure.
According to
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 UK statistics, the cost of a bachelor’s degree for international
students
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 at institutions
such
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 as UCL or King’s College London ranges from £20,000 to £35,000 per year, excluding living expenses.
Furthermore
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, graduates frequently remain abroad to pursue careers, leading to brain drain and a shortage of skilled professionals in their home countries. Studying overseas may
also
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 cause emotional isolation, as
students
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 are separated from their families and unable to provide them with direct support.
Thus
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, despite the educational value, the challenges include high costs, talent loss, and reduced family ties.
Nevertheless
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, the benefits of studying abroad are profound. The foremost advantage is access to world-class
education
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.
Students
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 benefit from cutting-edge research, abundant academic resources, and instruction from leading professors.
In addition
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, exposure to peers from diverse cultural backgrounds fosters open-mindedness and global perspectives. Most importantly, international qualifications open the door to prestigious employment opportunities.
For example
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, many Kazakhstani
students
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 who graduate from elite British universities,
such
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 as UCL or Cambridge, secure positions at multinational corporations
including
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, including
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 Deloitte, Google, and the United Nations.
Consequently
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, studying abroad equips young people with both academic excellence and cross-cultural competence, which significantly enhances their career prospects. In conclusion,
although
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 studying abroad entails disadvantages
such
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 as financial strain and potential brain drain, its advantages are far more compelling. The opportunity to receive a world-class
education
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, broaden one’s worldview, and access the global job market makes it an invaluable investment in the future.

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task response
Task response: You answer the question well and give both sides. Restate your view at the end.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas flow well. Use more linking words to show cause and effect and to move from one idea to the next.
content
Content: Add one strong example for each side and explain why it matters.
accuracy
Accuracy: Check facts like money figures and the names of places to be sure they are right.
style
Style: Use short, simple sentences to be easy to read.
task
Clear view from the start and good plan in the essay.
content
Good use of numbers and place names to back points.
coherence
Reasoning is easy to follow and well split into two sides.
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