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Writing Samples
Band 6

Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is widely acknowledged that long flights exhaust more resources than cars consume for an extended period and harm the
environment
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. Some assert that people should prioritize reducing the number of unnecessary flights,
such
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 as recreational
travel
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, over limiting car usage. I strongly disagree with
this
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 notion. First and foremost, one compelling argument supporting my stance is that recreational visits can contribute to a wide range of businesses in developed countries, which is an essential part of protecting the
environment
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. To clarify, in general, by allocating
tax
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 funds
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 wealthy nations, society has preserved the quality of the air worldwide.
Thus
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, the more people
us
Correct your spelling
use
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 transportation for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal
travel
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, the more these nations are able to generate
tax
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 revenue.
As a result
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, they can reinvest more funds into preserving the
environment
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.
Therefore
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, long flights can play a pivotal role in boosting
tax
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 revenue and protecting the
environment
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.
Furthermore
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,
while
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 some contend that regulating personal
travel
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 abroad is advantageous for air pollution, it has the potential to pose a risk.
This
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 is because the number of world natural heritage sites is limited.
In addition
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, the trip to
such
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 areas may offer fresh perspectives on nature and society, ultimately raising the awareness of natural preservation.
Moreover
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, some countries do not have
such
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 assets.
Hence
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, unlike regulating the use of cars, travelling abroad enables individuals to have these opportunities.
Therefore
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, discouraging unnecessary
travel
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 might eliminate enlightening opportunities to foster awareness of air pollution. In conclusion, I firmly disagree with
this
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 argument, since non-essential travelling can contribute to developing individuals' interests in environmental issues and boost
tax
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 revenue for preserving nature.
Moreover
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, straightforwardly limiting car usage would struggle to offer these benefits.

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coherence
Your arguments need further development with clearer connections between points
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples or deeper insights to support your claims
coherence
Clear position taken in the introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the argument
task achievement
Identifies the economic benefits of tourism and its relation to environmental preservation, which is a unique perspective
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • air pollution
  • sustainable future
  • carbon footprint
  • regulating
  • passenger transportation
  • virtual tourism
  • domestic economies
  • equitable climate policies
  • non-essential flights
  • tourism-related travel
  • environmental crisis
  • long-distance travel
  • pollution levels
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