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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is a trend for
vast
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the vast
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 majority of people to hold an opinion that contest at
work
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, and in daily life is a merit. Different ones have an opinion of cooperation, in preference to competing with each other. In my point of view, collaboration is far better
work
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 in place of rivalry, as it’s more entertaining and engaging. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. On one hand,
competition
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 can be highly beneficial and effective, because it encourages individuals to strive and reach their full potential.
Furthermore
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, in
workplace
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the workplace
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,
competition
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 can lead to increased productivity and innovation, as employees
work
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 harder to achieve promotions and recognition.
For instance
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, recent studies in Australia have shown that productivity and efficiency increased by 80% and workers were more productive
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the day.
On the other hand
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, cooperation is essential for building strong relationships and achieving shared goals. In many professions, collaboration is more valuable than individual achievement.
For example
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, in healthcare, doctors and nurses must collaborate to provide the best patient care. In education, group projects teach students how to
work
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 together, preparing them for real-world challenges.
Additionally
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, a cooperative mindset promotes a supportive environment, reducing stress and fostering emotional well-being. In my opinion, a balance between
competition
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 and cooperation is ideal.
While
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 contention can drive individuals to excel, it should not come at the cost of teamwork and ethical
behavior
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behaviour
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. Encouraging healthy
competition
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while
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also
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 teaching the importance of collaboration can lead to a more successful and harmonious society.

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coherence and cohesion
Clarify the introduction for better comprehension. You might want to rephrase 'a trend for vast majority...'
task achievement
Support your ideas with more detailed and specific examples, especially in the paragraph discussing competition.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterate your main points clearly to strengthen the final message of your opinion.
task achievement
You present a well-rounded discussion by mentioning both competition and cooperation, which strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The use of clear paragraphs helps organize your essay effectively, making it easier to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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