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Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientists tell us some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions?

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It is true that
people
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 tend to ignore the negative consequences of unhealthy lifestyles
although
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 experts and researchers have warned them about these problems. There are several reasons why
people
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 continue to lead an unhealthy
lifestyle
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, and actions should be taken to tackle
this
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problem
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. There are several factors contributing to the
the
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apply
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problem
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 of living unhealthily.
Firstly
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,
people
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 seem to be more ambitious these days, and most of them tend to have a hectic
lifestyle
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, usually working overtime and devoting themselves to their companies.
Therefore
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, these
people
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 do not have enough
time
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 to take care of themselves; they often resort to fast food on a daily basis
instead
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 of preparing a decent meal with enough nutrients.
Secondly
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, because of the development of technology, some
people
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 in modern society are likely to spend too much
time
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 with electronic devices in their free
time
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.
Instead
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 of going outside and doing physical activities, they would choose to stay at home, surf the Internet or play video games, which would lead to a sedentary
lifestyle
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. Some measures need to be implemented to solve the
problem
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 of unhealthy habits among
people
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 in the modern world. Companies need to take responsibility for the well-being of their staff members, so employers of these organisations should take action to allow workers the
opoortunity
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opportunity
 to adopt a healthier
lifestyle
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.
For example
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, sports events,
such
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 as football leagues, should be organised on a yearly basis to encourage employees to stay physically healthy. At the same
time
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, governments
also
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 play an important role in improving public health; they need to launch campaigns to raise public awareness of the dangers of unhealthy activities.
For example
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, by making videos and pictures of patients suffering from life-threatening diseases related to living unhealthily,
such
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 as cancer and obesity, go viral on the Internet, the authorities can discourage their citizens from having an imbalanced diet every day and encourage them to do physical activities more. In conclusion,
people
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 in contemporary society live unhealthily because of their hectic lifestyles and advances in technology, and it is necessary for both companies and the government to take action to deal with
this
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problem
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.

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Develop each of your main points with supporting details and examples. These examples should be specific, relevant, and enhance the persuasive power of your argument by making your ideas more tangible to the reader.
task achievement
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task achievement
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task achievement
Enhance the quality of your essay by integrating relevant, specific examples that support your ideas and arguments. This will illustrate your points more effectively and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • chemical reactions
  • dependency
  • social and cultural norms
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • temptations
  • implementing policies
  • taxing
  • supportive environment
  • accountability
  • unhealthy habits
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