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Band 6

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

#traffic #governments #tax #car #owners #money #transportation
In recent years, a
solution
 to traffic problems has been of great concern to the public. Nowadays, the government should tax private
car
owners
 heavily and
use
 the money to improve public
transportation
 to solve traffic problems. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of
such
 a
solution
. It is true that that
solution
 has some advantages. The main benefit of the
explanation
 is that
people
's awareness will be enhanced. It is obvious that private
car
owners
 will not dare to
use
 personal vehicles to travel much but
use
 public
transportation
. Another reason is that it would handicap
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has more money to donate and upgrade the public transport system.
For instance
, it is very common to observe that when the government increases the taxes of private
car
owners
 high, they will have more money and invest in increasing public
transportation
. An additional advantage is that the environment will be less polluted. If
people
use
 more public
transportation
such
 as buses, bicycles, and so on, the air will be less polluted by the toxic fumes emitted.
Therefore
, that
solution
 is good for traffic problems.
However
,
this
explanation
 is not completely beneficial, there are some negative aspects that should be taken into consideration. The serious disadvantage of
this
solution
 is private
car
owners
 will find it difficult to move. They will have to get used to
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by public transport rather than using their personal
car
 to avoid paying high taxes. Another negative aspect of
this
explanation
 would be fierce opposition from the
people
.
People
 may complain about having to take public transport and pay
instead
 of taking their own
car
. In
this
 way,
this
 pollution is rather bad for
people
. All in all,
this
explanation
 has both pros and cons. Considering all the points mentioned above, it seems to me that the advantages of
this
 issue overshadow its disadvantages.
Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the topic and provides a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages of taxing private car owners to improve public transportation. However, there are areas where you could further develop your ideas and provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to make your paragraphs more cohesive by using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are slightly repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'the government increases the taxes of private car owners high' could be simplified to 'when the government increases taxes on private car owners.'
overall structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps give your essay a good structure.
task achievement
You offer a balanced examination of both advantages and disadvantages, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
logical structure
Your points are generally clear and well-organized, and you make an effort to support them.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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