Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

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The issue of social
media
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sites
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and their effect on youngsters has sparked considerable debate in modern society.
While
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some argue that social networks have a negative impact on their
users
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and their ability to communicate, I firmly agree with the view that
internet
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media
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have a beneficial influence
due to
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their opportunities to bring
people
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closer together. Proponents of pessimistic views on social
media
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sites
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argue that intensive consumption of
internet
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applications and
sites
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make
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makes
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users
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spend a lot of time on them.
For instance
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, the study results provided by Arizona University highlight the consumption of social
media
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by their students, where the average time reached 5 hours per day, which illustrates the long-term use of social networks by young
people
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.
Moreover
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, It is common in society to think that the heavy usage of
internet
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sites
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and applications makes
people
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addicted, distancing them from real communication ,
further
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highlighting a large percentage of closed and mentally unstable adolescents over the past 20 years.
As a result
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, a negative image of
Internet
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use and its impact on the younger generation is emerging Despite these arguments, I strongly believe that modern websites and applications open up more opportunities for several compelling reasons.
Firstly
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, their versatility,
which
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apply
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helps
people
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find a community based on preferences and interests.
For example
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, the emergence of various fandoms and the disclosure of global topics expands the horizons of young girls and boys , demonstrating the ability of social networks to be useful in the development of communication in society.
Additionally
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, social
media
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platforms provide access to educational resources and international collaboration, underscoring how online interactions can foster learning and cultural exchange.
Consequently
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, young
users
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not only form friendships but
also
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gain knowledge and develop empathy through exposure to diverse perspectives. In conclusion,
while
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acknowledging the rationale behind the belief that social
media
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isolates
users
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and harms real-life relationships, I firmly agree that the ability of these platforms to connect
people
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across the globe is more beneficial
due to
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the social, educational, and emotional support they can offer. Moving forward, promoting digital literacy and encouraging mindful use of social
media
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can help ensure a balanced approach to
this
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issue.

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task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the argument effectively. However, you could strengthen your thesis statement by briefly summarizing the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are mostly well-structured, but transitions between some ideas could be smoother. Consider using linking phrases to clearly connect your points and improve the flow of your argument.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, which is great. To improve further, ensure that you elaborate on these examples slightly more to enhance their depth and relevance to your main points.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic while maintaining a clear stance, reflecting critical thinking and personal insight.
coherence and cohesion
The use of diverse vocabulary and varied sentence structures adds to the overall quality of writing, making it engaging to read.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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