In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In Britain, mostly when
individuals
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are of
an
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apply
show examples
old
age
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, they usually start living in old
age
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homes, where they can get
care
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from nurses. It is believed that the authorities have to pay for
this
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care
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. I think it is a shared responsibility of the family and the
government
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. Both play a crucial role in it.
Firstly
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, the
government
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has the primary onus to pay for old
people
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's treatment. Since
individuals
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pay revenue to the authorities throughout their lives in the form of different taxes—they spend half of their salaries on the
government
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for the betterment of the country—
this
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is the main reason
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government
Add an article
the government
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should take
care
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of senior citizens.
Additionally
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, the
government
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has the responsibility to provide pensions to old-
age
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individuals
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.
Individuals
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usually feel more dependent on the
government
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when they are at their later ages.
Therefore
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, the
government
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ought to spend money on
old
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old-age
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age
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homes.
However
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, the family plays an essential role in it as well. Primarily, parents invest their entire lives in their children's lives, which makes the children responsible toward their parents in old
age
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.
Moreover
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, old
people
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feel more secure when their families give them
care
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.
Secondly
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, some old
people
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's families are capable of paying the bills for them. In
this
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situation, they need to take responsibility
themselves
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for themselves
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instead
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of depending on the
government
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.
For instance
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, I have experienced one incident where an old person needed support from his family
instead
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of getting help from the
government
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. He had enough funds to get treatment, which is helpful for the
government
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to support the
people
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who are in need.
Thus
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, family assistance is of utmost importance for senior citizens. In conclusion, even though the
government
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should assist old
people
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in getting treatment, the family
also
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plays a crucial role in
this
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regard. It all depends on the circumstances of the old
people
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.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on your main ideas with more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to create clearer connections between your points to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the richness of your writing.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both the government's and family's responsibilities.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly stated your position, which sets a good foundation for your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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