IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently moved to a new address. You want to tell a friend who lives in another city about your new home. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • explain why you moved • describe your new home • invite your friend to visit you.

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Dear friends. I want to tell you, why I changed the city and moved
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 London. It is very simple, as all of you know, I want to become a referee and I do my best.
This
Linking Words
 was
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important reason, why I moved from Sandy.
This
Linking Words
 flat is very near to my job and it is comfortable for me. I can not say my flat is quite big, it is only
one
Use synonyms
 room and the restroom with shower off course. The kitchen is common, and my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
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 foreign people.
One
Use synonyms
 family is from
pakistan
Change the capitalization
Pakistan
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 and
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 other is Ukrainian. So, I would like to meet you in my city and move around here for sightseeing. It is true my flat is very small
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it is only
one
Use synonyms
 room, but we can find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 hostel or house. we can stay there for
one
Use synonyms
 night or two
night
Fix the agreement mistake
nights
show examples
. By the way, if you had got time, you would be able to attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my football game. Best regards.

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task achievement
Try to provide more details about your reasons for moving and elaborate on your new surroundings to enhance your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that details within paragraphs support this idea. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
positive emotion
You expressed a strong desire to connect with your friend and invite them, which shows warmth.
clarity
You clearly stated the purpose of your letter, which is important in a letter writing task.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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