Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

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In many countries, doctors are saying that

people

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usually do workouts less than recommended. Since

people

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focus on working performance, they prioritise their career growth rather than taking care of their physical health.

However

Linking Words

this

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issue can be solved by government-sponsored campaigns that provide useful information for all citizens. Individuals, nowadays, work from 9 to 5 or even overtime, reducing their time for

exercise

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Due to

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more responsibilities with age,

people

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are forced to earn more money in order to cover their higher expenses so they choose to work harder and

this

Linking Words

makes them exhausted.

Moreover

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, workers

also

Linking Words

prefer to have some relaxation by having a good dinner

instead

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of pushing themselves to do any physical workout.

For example

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, in many Asian countries, the most popular activities surveyed are hanging out with friends or eating

instead

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of playing sports or exercising.

However

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this

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issue can

be address

Change the verb form

be addressed

show examples

effectively. One of the possible viable solutions is to raise awareness via public campaigns which should be promoted everywhere. If

people

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are educated on the effects of inadequate

exercise

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and the positive impacts of being physically healthy, they will be aware and eventually interested in exercising.

For instance

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, the Thai government published a viral campaign on Skytrains to convince

people

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exercise

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more and

also

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suggested easy ways to complete workouts at home.

As a result

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, the frequency of

exercise

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reported increased. In conclusion,

although

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people

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tend to have not enough physical workouts because of hard work and having less free time, viral awareness-raising campaigns can be one of the practical solutions to address

this

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issue.

pw.mmuiiMon Mar 03 2025

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task achievement

Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your opinion (agree or disagree) explicitly, as it is important to set the tone for your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance the logical flow between your paragraphs by using more connecting phrases, such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', or 'In contrast', to create a smoother transition.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, reiterate the main points more decisively to solidify your argument, rather than just summarizing the content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or statistics when discussing the effectiveness of awareness campaigns, as this will strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic clearly and offers a balanced view by discussing both the problem and potential solutions.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

It is not neccessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can just learn much from books, films and the internet . Do you agree or disagree ?

The computers are widely used in education and some people think that teacher don't play an important role in classroom to what extent do you agree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree ?

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children's social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?