One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays, many technologies and innovations are used to develop medical
care
. It has many reasons that an improved medical method can help people
live longer and increase their lifetime
. In my opinion, the improvement in medical aid has many positive points but there will be advantages at the same time.
Firstly
, one evident benefit of having improved media care
is that people
can detect some diseases early such
as cancer. In the past, people
believed that if you had cancer, you would have little time left in your life
, especially in an elderly person. However
, the development in medical treatment now has many various methods to treat your disease and eliminate it. In particular
, older people
can have an extended life
to spend a lifetime
with their family and cousins. In some cases, an improvement in caring can help doctors diagnose actual diseases in patients, reducing failures and making an expanded lifetime
.
On the other hand
, when the progression increases the life
expectancy highly rises at the same time. For instance
, some people
realize that an innovative treatment can save your life
whether having terminal cancer. This
kind of understanding can lead cousins to conflict with doctors about why they cannot aid their patients. Moreover
, another disadvantage is many people
will not take care
of their health such
as unhealthy consumption, not working out, and so on because they expect that medical treatment can help them get better when they feel ill. This
misunderstanding leads to unhealthy behavior
in society.
In conclusion, the fast-forward in medical Change the spelling
behaviour
care
produces many positive treatments to help people
have a longer lifetime
spending. However
, life
expectancy has to be managed and educated by the doctor. Because of human nature, there are no solutions that make them live forever.Submitted by matty10
on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points with specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with clear linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion sums up the main points well, but it could be more impactful. Try to summarize the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly to show a clear stance.
introduction conclusion
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion by mentioning both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view which is essential for task achievement.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples related to medical treatments and life expectancy is good; it shows relevance to the topic.