IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people’s standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, technology has brought an advanced way of living to society.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are
overall
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 sad with the
life
Use synonyms
 they are living, regardless of these improvements.
Nevertheless
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, I strongly agree with
this
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 opinion, as
this
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 might be because of the inflation rate and high internet focus.
This
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 essay will explore the reasons.
To begin
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 with, modern society has been improved with vast means of technical equipment,
such
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 as computers, TVs and phones, to make
life
Use synonyms
 easier.
However
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, other intriguing factors, including inflation have made
life
Use synonyms
 unbearable. Recently, rents and groceries have become unaffordable compared to the past years.
For instance
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, the price of flats for rent in Budapest city has skyrocketed compared to decades ago, with no significant increase in the minimum wage.
This
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force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
people
Use synonyms
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
work more in order to earn a decent living.
As a result
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, stress accumulates causing burnout and depression.
In addition
Linking Words
, the technology era has introduced the use of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
, which has been a great development, because it makes crucial information accessible to everyone, and keeps
people
Use synonyms
 connected.
Nevertheless
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,
people
Use synonyms
 now are internet-centered, which is harmful, because less attention is paid to important aspects of
life
Use synonyms
. A clear example of
this
Linking Words
, was a British newspaper published in London, showing
people
Use synonyms
 in the 80s at the
bus
Use synonyms
 stops waiting for the
bus
Use synonyms
, fully focused, and today's newspaper shows a majority of the population on their phones
while
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 waiting for the
bus
Use synonyms
, with some even missed their
bus
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 lack of attention.
This
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 shows how
people
Use synonyms
 seek solace from the internet rather than having good family time, which is a sign of
discontented
Correct article usage
a discontented
show examples
 generation.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument, but each main point could be elaborated further. Consider providing more detailed explanations or examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position, but the conclusion is missing. Ensure that you summarize your main points and restate your opinion to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and intuitive. Using linking words can improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have identified relevant contemporary issues, such as inflation and technology's impact on social interactions, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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