IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is a statement that working
time
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 should be shorter than the weekend, so workers will have a sufficient weekend.
This
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 essay totally agrees with that statement because workers will have more
time
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 to rest and it increases the
work
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time
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efficiency
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. Fewer working
duration
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durations
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 can make
people
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 rest more after their bustling day.
This
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 is a better condition to maintain mental health. Because working for long hours can make the brain overwhelmed and increases the risk of stress and
also
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 depression.
This
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 state
also
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 influences the
work
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 performances of
people
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.
For example
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, when
people
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 need to
work
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 until the weekend, their body will be tired and feel sensitive.
Furthermore
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, it makes the body more vulnerable to infection and diseases. The second reason is
time
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efficiency
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.
Efficiency
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 is needed in these years
especially
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, especially
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 in the workplace.
Moreover
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, the job task will finish earlier and better if
people
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 can focus and be disciplined when they
work
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. These include reducing the distraction from smartphones, prolonging chatting with friends or scrolling to social media at the workplace. That condition can be achieved by strict regulation from the institution for their
people
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.
For example
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, a regulation to keep our phones when doing a meeting will increase our focus and make a better achievement. In summary, a short duration of
work
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time
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 has benefits for body and mental health and
also
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 has a positive impact on the job’s result. It decreases our risk of stress and is good for our mental. It
also
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 costs for
time
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efficiency
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 at
work
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.

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task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully; for example, providing more detailed examples or context for your arguments would strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that your points are well linked to enhance overall flow.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your introduction and conclusion to better frame your arguments and provide a clear summary of your stance.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear agreement with the statement, and you provide logical reasons to support your views.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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