Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

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Nowadays, a smaller number of

people

Use synonyms

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation prefer to play

games

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. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

has become very popular

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters are addicted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electronical

Correct your spelling

electronic

devices in

such

Linking Words

a way they choose to live

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

. To aware youth

for

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

, certain steps should be taken. I will explain both factors in the

details

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detail

show examples

in the following paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the reason for the decrease in youth

sports

Use synonyms

participation is the extreme use of

Add an article

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

Change preposition

With

show examples

the development of

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

people

Use synonyms

become fond of

smart phone

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smartphone

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, laptops,

iPad

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and iPad

show examples

, because of that they don’t like to play outdoor

games

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as they can play video

games

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on their gadgets. If teenagers are attracted to electronic tools, they will become less physically active.

For example

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, as per the survey of times of India, day by day many young

people

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prefer video

games

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and streaming activities over outdoor activities.

Therefore

Linking Words

, their health can be jeopardized. To address

this

Linking Words

issue,

government

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the government

show examples

can encourage students to take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part in competitions,

for

Correct word choice

and for

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that government can introduce scholarships for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

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person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

Also

Linking Words

, improve

facilities

Correct article usage

the facilities

show examples

of local

sports

Use synonyms

clubs. Which can

also

Linking Words

gain their interest in athletics.

For example

Linking Words

, in countries like India government has introduced

Use synonyms

sports

Correct article usage

a sports

show examples

quota for

the

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apply

show examples

jobs, so

this

Linking Words

can lead job seekers to get

involve

Change the form of the verb

involved

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, the decline in

sports

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participation is shown in

younger

Add an article

the younger

a younger

show examples

population. As they are influenced by digital media and

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

likely to play virtual

games

Use synonyms

and spend time in

in door

Correct your spelling

indoor

show examples

activities. To reduce

this

Linking Words

problem Encouraging young

people

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to participate in

sports

Use synonyms

is vital for their physical and mental well-being, and collective efforts from schools, families, and communities are necessary to achieve

this

Linking Words

goal.

kadikar30Wed Mar 05 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider rephrasing the introduction for clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, 'In today's world, fewer young people participate in sports.' This will provide a clearer premise for your discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

In your body paragraphs, aim for clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main points you are discussing. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your claims, such as mentioning particular sports that young people might be drawn to or specific government initiatives in different countries.

Task Achievement

Make sure to check for grammar and spelling errors, such as 'electronical' (should be 'electronic') and 'to aware youth for the sports' (should be 'to make youth aware of sports'). Revising these will improve the professionalism of your writing.

Task Achievement

You have identified a relevant issue and attempted to analyze the reasons behind it, which demonstrates understanding of the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reiterates the importance of encouraging sports participation among youth.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

Your opinion

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think that it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other objects?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you return home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. -Explain the problem. -Say why the documents are important. -Suggest a solution.