IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Whether individuals, especially students should save their allowance for the rest of their
lives
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 or not has always been a controversial issue among experts and ordinary
people
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 in contemporary society. I believe that saving money at an early age can bring several significant positive impacts on their personal and professional
lives
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.
To begin
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 with, it is widely said that it is not imperative for younger generations like students and adolescents to focus on saving their income for the future. A major reason is that it is better for them to concentrate on their education and have enjoyable times with their peers. It means focusing more on financial issues may deprive adolescents of their personal right to have fun like their classmates or friends.
As a result
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, it is important for young 
people
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 to spend all their allowance on hanging out with their friends or taking on new activities which are better for  both their present pleasure and future
lives
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.
On the other hand
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, encouraging children to start saving a portion of their income can pose several dramatic benefits for them. One of the primary advantages of
this
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 attitude is that
the
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apply
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children who prefer to save their budget for their future plans from an early age can settle down sooner than their peers.
This
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 capital can significantly help them to establish their own businesses or create a family when they graduate from school. Another major benefit is that  engaging in monetary matters can help them  gain foundational financial skills like management of their income and expenditure.
Last
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 but not least, recent studies show that
this
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 attitude in favour of saving cash can foster a sense of entrepreneurship among young
people
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 which can pave the way for them to be independent and high-achievement persons in their coming
lives
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that it is essential for young
people
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 to start engaging in saving and managing their pockets. In conclusion,
although
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 some believe that
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the younge
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younge
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young
younger
 population should only focus on their education and having an enjoyable time with their friends, I believe it can help them to settle down soon, enhance radical skills and improve their sense of entrepreneurship.

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task achievement
While your introduction presents your opinion clearly, including a brief outline of the key points you will discuss could further enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more explicitly to improve the flow and cohesiveness of your essay. Transition phrases can help strengthen the relationship between points and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your points are generally relevant, but providing specific examples or data to support your claims would give your arguments more weight and depth.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay well with distinct paragraphs, which contributes to overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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