IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days, some
people
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 hold the view that the most significant aim of
science
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 should be to make
people
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's
lives
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 better and better.
This
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 topic is more and more popular and common all over the world. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 topic, it is because the
development
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 of
science
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 can bring some benefits to
people
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's
lives
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. On the
one
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 hand,
science
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 can change
people
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's opinions and attitudes to their
lives
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. Through the developments of
science
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 and
technology
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,
people
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's
lives
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 have had a lot of changes than before.
For example
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, TikTok is
one
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 of the most important apps for us in daily life.
This
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 app makes
people
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's
lives
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 more and more colourful. All kinds of websites can help
people
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 find resources to help them solve problems at work or study.
People
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 even can use these websites to buy some products to meet their basic needs. Since the
development
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 of
science
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 and
technology
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,
people
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's
lives
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 become safer and safer, more and more comfortable and colourful.
In addition
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, the progress of
science
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 can bring about the
development
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 of medical
technology
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,
thus
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 improving
people
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's health. As far as we all know, keeping healthy is
one
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 of the most important parts of daily life. Since
science
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 developed, when
people
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 fall ill, they go to the hospital to ask for help, doctors can use medical equipment to find the problem, meanwhile, they can
also
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 give
people
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 some medication to help
people
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 get better. In conclusion,
people
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 should encourage the
development
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 of
science
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 and
technology
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. It is because
science
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 is
one
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 of the most important parts of daily life,
people
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's
lives
Use synonyms
 can not live without it. If
science
Use synonyms
 develops better,
people
Use synonyms
 will have a better and happier future.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly present your stance on the topic. Make sure to summarize the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader. This will improve the flow and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
While you include relevant examples, expanding on them with more specifics or elaboration can strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally clear, with an identifiable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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