IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sports
events
Use synonyms
 are important around the world and when one of them starts in some
country
Use synonyms
, there are facts that are difficult to explain or feel
such
Linking Words
 as politics, business, health and other ones.
In addition
Linking Words
, when a
country
Use synonyms
 is a
host
Use synonyms
, it needs to spend or invest a lot of money. To choose the
host
Use synonyms
, the organizers have some conditions essential to the
country
Use synonyms
 being the
host
Use synonyms
. So, the
country
Use synonyms
 needs to have excellent facilities, investment to fix or improve places, and security because a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 arrive to participate or watch the
events
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
host
Use synonyms
 spent a lot of money.
However
Linking Words
, those
events
Use synonyms
 help citizens with jobs, sales and tourism because there are many tourists in the
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the football World Cup is the biggest international event where 32 countries participate with their team. The event lasted around one month and
this
Linking Words
 month the
people
Use synonyms
 stopped all activities, and political business and only thought about their team.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 meet with neighbours, family, and friends to share for 90 minutes feelings like happiness, sadness and nervousness.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the tensions between countries are low at least
while
Linking Words
 the event ends. It is difficult to explain that because all issues pass to the background. So, in that moment when two teams are playing there is nothing more important than that match.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I agree that sports
events
Use synonyms
 help to relax heavy environments around the world and
people
Use synonyms
forgot
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
 for a short time their problems, and illnesses and feel happy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand your introduction to clearly outline your position on the statement and include a brief overview of the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Avoid starting sentences with 'So', as it can appear informal. Instead, use more academic phrases to express your thoughts.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly back to the main question, this will help in maintaining a logical structure throughout your essay.
task achievement
Good attempt at providing relevant examples, particularly with the football World Cup.
task achievement
You have made a sincere effort to express your thoughts and opinions on a significant topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • mutual respect
  • prejudices
  • stereotypes
  • friendly competition
  • sportsmanship
  • cultural and national identity
  • diplomatic tool
  • informal discussions
  • political tensions
  • universal appeal
  • global community
  • shared experiences
  • excessive patriotism
  • negative nationalism
  • responsibly
What to do next:
Look at other essays: